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'I represented my country at the highest level' - University of California Prompt


CaptainCook 6 / 14 1  
Oct 20, 2014   #1
Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Hey guys, this my essay for one of the UC propmts. i hope you guys can give me your thoughts/any suggestions. Thank You!

My 5 year experience studying in a boarding school was probably the most significant period of time in my life. One particular experience that I am really proud of is when I was selected to go to a knowledge exchange program in Melbourne.

When I was 16 years old, I was offered a place in the school's R&D team after achieving an excellent result in the semester exam. I am the type of person who believes that everything we learned in class can be applied into real life situation and the R&D program presented me with the perfect opportunity to practice what I believe.

We did a research on a portable water container that can increase the amount of dissolved oxygen in drinking water. First of all, we used our knowledge about the chemical and physical properties of water that we have gained in chemistry class to identify air flow as one of the factors affecting the concentration of oxygen in water. Next, we used our knowledge on electrical circuit that we have gained in physics lessons to set up a simple aeration system in the water container. The program taught me that effective communication between your peers and able to take criticism positively are keys to success.

After the research, I was picked by the Malaysian Ministry of Education to represent my school and country in a Knowledge Exchange Program to Melbourne. A team of 10 people including me was sent to Melbourne for a week to trade information with some universities and schools there.

I was really proud and grateful because I got the chance to represent my country at the highest level. I believed in myself and what I am capable of and that got me to where I am right now. A life principle that I have always hold on to is, does not mean you don't know something you cannot do it and does not mean you are unique, you are useful and good at what you do. Always learn something new and try to be a better version of yourself every day.
gbekil 7 / 17 2  
Oct 21, 2014   #2
in the third paragraph you may give some examples, but I like it.


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