Any help, especially with wording, is appreciated. To me, it sounds a bit repetitive and generic, so I'd love if anyone could help with that. Thanks in advance!
I developed a serious interest in Engineering last year, in my physics class. I became fascinated by the possibility of applying scientific principles and theories to real world situations, especially to develop technology that could improve peoples' lives.
In order to develop my knowledge of the field of Engineering, I began to talk to adults I knew- mostly neighbors and friends of my parents- who were Engineers. I started to learn more about what they did every day as Engineers, and what kinds of career opportunities were available. I was especially interested in one neighbor's story of how his Engineering degree prepared him for medical school. In fact, one of my favorite things about the field of Engineering is that it is applicable to so many different fields.
I am drawn to Princeton's Engineering program in particular because of the large percentage of faculty engaged in research devoted to improving human health. Biological Engineering appeals to me primarily because of the opportunities to engage in this kind of research. The opportunity to participate in original research as an undergraduate at Princeton was a major factor in my decision to apply. My goal is to one day develop and improve the artificial kidney, to help people like my father, who spent years waiting for a transplant, live fuller and healthier lives. I decided to apply to Princeton primarily because of the renowned Engineering program and the dedicated professors who will help me achieve my goal.
I want to study Engineering at Princeton because of the ample opportunities I will have to turn my talent and into a successful career. A liberal education will give me the ability to develop and express the ideas that I will need to solve problems, essential for an aspiring Engineer. I am confident that Princeton is the best place for me to gain the skills and experience that will help me succeed, both in my future career and the rest of my life.
I enjoyed this essay, I am not sure of the prompt, but you do not talk about very many specifics relating to Princeton. If the prompt was in general why, then you are fine. But if it is Princeton specific, you may want to talk about some more specific things that Princeton has to offer.
This is an exaple fo a specific:
large percentage of faculty engaged in research devoted to improving human health.
I want to study Engineering at Princeton because of the ample opportunities I will have to turn my talent and into a successful career.
You could replace Princeton with any other college in this sentence, try to give a specific of something in Princeton that will help you realize this dream.
Overall it was a wonderful essay
