Tell us more about one or two activities listed above that are most important to you.
Please explain the role you played and what you learned in the process. You will be asked for a reference who can speak to your response.
Since the summer of 2017, I have participated in a research internship every summer. For the past 2 summers, I was a research assistant to Dr. Peter Stanwell at the University of Newcastle. I worked on projects related to Brain Trauma and Neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson's disease. My primary role was to anonymize and run datasets of patients and controls. This required not only knowledge of basic neuroanatomy, but also made me learn specific neuroimaging software, such as Freesurfer and Conn toolbox.
Undoubtedly my involvement in these projects helped foster my interest in biomedical sciences, particularly in neuroscience. Working in these projects allowed me to look outside of a highschool textbook and see the big picture. In preparation for the projects, I read over a dozen publications and assimilated knowledge that would help me better understand the questions we were trying to answer. Furthermore, this prerequisite reading also forced me out of my comfort zone of just anatomy and made me grasp concepts from other disciplines like biomedical physics to understand the work assigned to me.
In addition to this, the experience improved my attention to detail. When running a dataset, I learned the function of each task in the software pipeline, so I could was aware of how the data was being manipulated at each stage. Despite this, I often came across many syntax errors. This required me to meticulously review my inputs, which inadvertently taught me patience.
And lastly, I learned to take advantage of the abundant knowledge and experience available with my peers and seniors. Almost daily I would review my progress with Dr. Stanwell, in order to improve my productivity. I learned how he presented findings in a coherent manner and how to cite relevant sources. Ultimately, the projects I worked on were unique opportunities that have overall changed my approach not only to science but also in my daily behavior.
Please let me know if I have answered accordingly to the prompt. Mention how I could improve the essay or if is missing any components
@farhanav
Hi there. Thanks for coming to the site again! Here's my feedback on your writing.
While I appreciate the introductory paragraph, I think you could have gotten away with providing a summary first about the two listed activities that you have. Do this instead of blatantly jumping into the text without much care for the intent of writing. If you are able to do this, it will certainly improve your writing immensely. Try to also create a blanket statement that will sort give the readers/evaluators an idea of what to anticipate with your writing, especially since you are working in such a technical field.
When trying to discuss and expound on the second paragraph, try to be more specific as much as possible. Instead of saying that you have read "a dozen publications", be more specific on what they are and the content they have. This will show that you truly know what you are saying and not merely just relying on a superficial note.
I noticed that your introduction of values is also still quite cluttered because you were trying to incorporate and attach so many sets of values onto your situation. Be more organized and try to lay everything out and connect the details - this will certainly help you become bolder in your interpretation of texts.
