Hello! Thank you so much for reading this essay. Any feedback/corrections would be appreciated. I would especially like to know if my essay is clear, unique, and adequately answers the prompt, showing my desire to attend this university!
Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.
(Title in the working...Suggestions?)
My shortest-lived nickname was George. It came about in elementary school, not because I looked like a boy, but rather because I was curious. And though the name disappeared along with the last of my baby teeth, the curiosity never has. In fact, it is my favorite word: curious.
Not only fun to say, curiosity is the key to growing in knowledge, to learning. So when I began my college search, the word found its way to the top of my checklist - "An institute that inspires curiosity." Finding this school took no great searching, for at the first college informational session I attended, "Exploring Educational Excellence," the University of Chicago's representative told a story that immediately captured my attention. She described a student at the University of Chicago who had attained a spot in one of the most desired classes on campus - Economics with Steven Levitt, author of "Freakonomics." Knowing she possessed a coveted seat, the student wanted a quantitative way of seeing exactly what it was worth. So, in the true spirit of "Freakonomics," she put her spot up on eBay. She, of course, never went through with the sale, but rather was offered research opportunities with Steven Levitt as he was impressed by her tactics. "And that," the representative said, "is the type of student we value at the University of Chicago, one that acts on their own curiosity."
"And that," I thought, "is the environment I want to be enveloped in."
For through all of my research, including the blogs of students, I have found that at the University of Chicago the word learn is not only found in its verb form in the classroom, but as a noun. The college is a sanctuary for learners who push themselves in a multitude of fields with the Core curriculum. Unlike most schools, the University of Chicago's Core does not skim the surface of its different disciplines but rather delves deeply into each study. As an aspiring international studies major with a love of the written word and a secret passion for math, the University of Chicago, its world-renown teachers and stimulating students, would satiate my thirst for learning while setting my curiosity ablaze.
Hello,
While your essay is OK and probably would not hurt your chances of admissions if your other application components are strong, it wouldn't put you into the clear acceptance pile either - especially if the admissions committee were debating between you and another applicant with similar statistics. While your essay started off in a very unique and interesting way, it quickly became dull and basic. Aside from the Freakonomics story you do not mention anything about Chicago. Why Chicago? You weave a rather weak connection between your curiosity for different subjects and the ability to study them all through the core at the university. Again the question is why Chicago? Every top school or even not so top university has a core that - depending on the person - can be considered as strong, liberal or intense. You need to make your story as strong as it can be. Make the admissions committee feel as though you really belong there. Talk more about the resources available at the College and how you plan to utilize them to begin to quench your thirst for knowledge. -AAO
