Inextinguishable Hate
There is a form of abhorrent illness that runs through the veins of this nation. The epidemic ceases to stop spreading. From one victim to another, racism takes control of the host's mind and tongue and disperses its disgusting messages and hurtful notions to others and their victims, the minority groups. Throughout my life, I have been able to see the extremities of racism and the negative atmosphere it only brings to society.
I have witnessed individuals that were discriminated not by the quality of their personality, but by the pigment of their skins. Weekly fights were held after school between separate "cliques" to see which "skin color" was the most prominent and powerful. One week was labeled "[Black] vs. [Mexican]" and another was labeled "[Asian] vs. [White]" and the list went on and on, new opponents, new fights, but only the same detrimental outcome. Is this any way to compare prominence and prestige? It was only a bunch of middle school kids that were hoping to set ground for their race and to radiate their juvenile strength by pummeling other students. This was not any better than a civil war. The actions put forth by the adolescents that participated in the treacherous fights did not produce any form of justice, new freedom, or any positive results.
Just because this heinous villain seems to be immortal, there is still a way solve it. The most viable solution that can, or most hopefully drown out racism, is education. In the US, there is a wide variety of religions, cultures, ethnicities, values, and so forth; that is the beauty of America. Through years of experiences and interactions with numerous people from different states, each holding separate principals and beliefs, I have come to realize the importance of diversity and how unique it can make society. We wield so much potential to unite this country, whose lands are populated with immeasurable amount of people from across the world, but yet we squander about finding reasons to reject and dislike another's ethnicity.
If every citizen of Earth can conceive, perceive, and accept the principles of another culture, then what room do we have left to misjudge and hate? Truly understanding about one and another's culture and values will substantially decrease the heartless threats and continuous rants about how one race is inferior, superior, or barbaric to another. However, I am not demanding the need for everyone to learn about the uncountable amount of cultures scattered around the corners of Earth, instead we should simply stop scorning someone based on their culture and ethnicity.
- Christopher Pak Yi
Pleasseee. Bump this up.
I'm not good at grammar either but even this sentence reading it aloud 3 times.. just sounded wrong.
I would revise this sentence.
The most viable solution that can, or most hopefully drown out racism, is education.
... Education is the most viable solution that can possibly drown out racism.
I have come to realize the importance of diversity and how unique it can make society. ... its contribution to the uniqueness of the society.
Everything else seems good. Give me your opinions of my essay. Thanks
REVISED
There is a form of abhorrent illness that runs through the veins of this nation. The epidemic ceases to stop spreading. From one victim to another, racism takes control of the host's mind and tongue and disperses its disgusting messages and hurtful notions to others and their victims, the minority groups. Throughout my life, I have been able to see the extremities of racism and the negative atmosphere it only brings to society.
I have witnessed individuals that were discriminated not by the quality of their personality, but by the pigment of their skins. Weekly fights were held after school between separate "cliques" to see which "skin color" was the most prominent and powerful. One week was labeled "[Black] vs. [Mexican]" and another was labeled "[Asian] vs. [White]" and the list went on and on, new opponents, new fights, but only the same detrimental outcome. Is this any way to compare prominence and prestige? It was only a bunch of middle school kids that were hoping to set ground for their race and to radiate their juvenile strength by pummeling other students. This was not any better than a civil war. The actions put forth by the adolescents that participated in the treacherous fights did not produce any form of justice, new freedom, or any positive results.
Just because this heinous villain seems to be immortal, there is still a way solve it. Education is the most viable solution that can out racism. In the US, there is a wide variety of religions, cultures, ethnicities, values, and so forth; that is the beauty of America. Through years of experiences and interactions with numerous people from different states, each holding separate principals and beliefs, I have come to realize the importance of diversity and how its contribution to the uniqueness of the society. We wield so much potential to unite this country, whose lands are populated with immeasurable amount of people from across the world, but yet we squander about finding reasons to reject and dislike another's ethnicity.
If every citizen of Earth can conceive, perceive, and accept the principles of another culture, then what room do we have left to misjudge and hate? Truly understanding about one and another's culture and values will substantially decrease the heartless threats and continuous rants about how one race is inferior, superior, or barbaric to another. However, I am not demanding the need for everyone to learn about the uncountable amount of cultures scattered around the corners of Earth, instead we should simply stop scorning someone based on their culture and ethnicity. Racism plays as a divider in our society, but if we can finally abrogate this abominate act, society will be restored and finally strengthen together rather than tearing itself apart.
Take out "how"
I have come to realize the importance of diversity and how its contribution to the uniqueness of the society.
In our revision...
Education is the most viable solution that can
________ out racism.
Need a verb in that blank, you used "drown out" before.Okay, I took out the how and replaced the blank with "eradicate". Is that fine? And I checked your essay, it sounded pretty good!
Thanks... should be good as long as you put a verb in there because ...
it's better than " ...viable solution that can out racism" ... can "what?" out racism?
You fixed it by putting eradicate.
