I was born in Viet Nam, but soon I left Viet Nam to start High school here in the US at the age of 16. Surrounding myself in a multicultural society in my early years gives me different perspectives about different cultures, as well as the ability to understand them thoroughly, and it also teaches me to have mutual respect towards other races. And having that attitude on campus is necessary.
I used to be very shy, which has taken away many chances of mine, I know how that hurts, so hopefully that I could do something to encourage students like me two years ago, to enrich and enjoy their new journey at University of Washington, to encounter new challenges fearlessly.
I come from a very different part of the world, so I am excitedly looking forward to sharing my culture heritages, such as how we celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival or how we use chopsticks for daily meals.
Wrapping this up, with my background and viewpoints that I've received through my years, I believe that I would do a good job in enriching the diversity of culture as well as contributing and improving the community.
Please give me a few feedbacks, thank you guys so much !
I answered the prompt, but there are some grammar mistakes. I've highlighted the ones that I saw and in red a suggestion to make it better. From someone that is not a native English-speaker either, I have to tell you: don't worry about your mistakes, it gets better as you become more comfortable with the language.
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I used to be very shy, which has taken away many chances of mine, . I know how that hurts, so hopefully that I couldI will be able to do something to encourage students like me
- I was born in Viet NamVietnam ( you are Vietnamese, so you should be able to write the name of your country very well ) ,
- butand soon I left Viet Namthe country to start High school
- and it also teachestaught me to
- have mutual respect towards other racesnationality. And, and having
- I come from a very different part of the world, soand I am excitedly
- Wrapping this up, withM y background and viewpoints
Danh, this are my thoughts on your essay. My only concern is that I don't see the essay to be strong enough, however, it's well written and what I suggest that you do to make your essay stronger is to write more about your capacity to contribute to the community, cite examples of volunteer work or any ideas that you have in mind that will help the community as a whole.
