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rebeccahailee 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2016   #1
I believe I have a calling to join the Peace Corps as an individual who is passionate about the welfare of human beings and supporting the global youth. Malala Yousafzai happens to be my biggest inspiration and constant motivator to strive to help people, especially when you have the mind, courage and dedication to do so. This bright woman has amplified these virtues in me and in turn I have sought opportunities like becoming a Peace Corps volunteer to use my knowledge to empower others. Being a Jewish, Latina woman, a mix of minorities, I have had to face challenges and use my experiences to empower myself and others.

I look up to Malala, a young girl who overcame a brutal shot to the head by Taliban after speaking up for education and peace for girls in Pakistan. I think of her whenever I feel discouraged by political circumstances and injustice around the world. Malala is the youngest person to ever receive the Nobel Peace Prize, something she would not be able to accomplish if she let physical, emotional, and intellectual challenges deter her from her goal, to make education accessible not only to the girl's in Pakistan where she is from, but girl's in places likes Pakistan. Her perseverance is the reason she has reached millions of people around the world inspiring others to campaign for girl's rights to education.

It is my understanding that with everything I do in life comes with a set of obstacles; my education, my desire to help others and the planet. However, it is worth my time and effort to overcome adversity for the sake of a better world. My plan to overcome the challenges I may face as a peace corps volunteer include using my struggle to build my character, positivity, and team building. I believe these three methods are key to progressive movements as well as incorporating culture, art, and music to inspire the youth since they are the future. I have always been fascinated by other cultures and travelling is one of my favorite learning methods. This is one thing many volunteers may find difficult, is adjusting to cultural differences and being far from home, but it could not be a better reason for me to go.

My travel experiences through Israel, Costa Rica, Barcelona, Switzerland, Portugal and many other countries have always been my fondest memories, however, I always felt a lack of connection. I wanted to discover more, to help more. Seeing so many opportunities to improve the lives of others was my biggest challenge while travelling and a major reason for my decision to apply as a Peace Corps volunteer. It is my chance to do the good in a new place.

As Malala states, "One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world." She and I both know that knowledge is power and I hope to use the knowledge I have gained through college and volunteer experiences to be that teacher for that one child who can grow up to inspire others.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,611 2508  
Nov 13, 2016   #2
Rebecca, for starters, you are 9 words over the 500 word maximum limit. You may want to look into the portions that you can either edit or summarize in order to better fit the word requirement. Next, the essay can use some improvement in terms of topics covered in order for you to better reflect certain expectations of the reviewer. While I understand that you are allowed to write 2 essays for this application, I believe that this essay, which sounds like the personal essay aspect of the application essay requirements, should be better developed in order to portray your abilities as a volunteer.

I don't believe that referring to Malala will help this essay going forward because what the Peace Corps needs to know is how you can possibly handle 2 years in dire environmental circumstances. Far removed from the life you currently know. So simply saying that you are well traveled and have experience living abroad is a far cry from telling the reviewer that you know what it is like to have to use the bathroom in the woods or have to eat food that is unfamiliar to you. The fact is, you need to show the reviewer that you can embody the 3 objectives of the Peace Corps.

Think of this essay as an application for the show Survivor. You need to let the reader know that you have experience living without the basic amenities that you take for granted right now. In your personal statement, make sure you can highlight that you know how to rough it out in life and that you know how to find enjoyment in living a life that lacks in most things that you take for granted. That is how 2 years in the life of a volunteer goes. The reviewer needs to know that you are physically, mentally, emotionally, and medically prepared for the challenges you will be facing. I don't really see that represented in this essay at the moment.