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Revise, set back eassy, the relationship with host family


hanson3566 4 / 11  
Dec 29, 2008   #1
Describe a setback you have encountered in your life. Explain how you handled the situation, what you learned from it, and what you would do if something similar happened in the future.(around 500 words).

500 words! but mine are 680 words. what can i do. And did my eassys anwser the question. Please help me revise!!!!

As the generation of the one-child policy, I was born to be the centre of attention, the only meaning of my parents' lives. As a result, I became far less than perfect: a little tyrant who expects everything to be done for him and cannot handle any pressure; I started my America voyage.

First to USA, an American family offered me a place to live. In this family, there are mother, father, and two kids: Taylor and Shelby. For the first time, I had a big brother and a little sister.

However, after a while it became difficult to think they are my sister and brother, not because they have blond hair and blue eyes, or the difference in our flesh and blood. The culture divergence was deeply rooted in our hearts: I take pleasure in Chinese traditional music, they enjoy watching hip-hop dances. I think rice and dumpling are delicious, they favor steak and chicken. I will feel embarrassed hugging and saying, "I love you", but they take it as greeting.

The culture collision soon aroused series of conflicts. They were irritated when I left empty milk bottle upstairs , angry when I forgot to put the toilet seat down, and complained when I ordered lobster in a restaurant called "Red lobster". Occasionally, we quarreled, about trivial details of life such as which route to school or which TV channel to watch.

As time passed, the gap between us grew bigger. We rarely talked. I felt like we were strangers that live under same roof. Nostalgia, loneliness, and helplessness, struck me one after another. Eventually, I wanted to give up, to go back to China, go back to the harbor of my parents' love. But then, a winter afternoon, something changed.

It was a snowing day, the sky was dark and empty, and the trees were bare and lonely. I lay motionless on the bed. I was in one of those mood, tiredness and tedious blured together, like some sort of half dreaming. Suddenly, rapid footsteps grasped my attention. I awaited the daily rituals of complaining. Instead, from my door way, "Happy Chinese New year," Taylor and Shelby were smiling at me. Chinese New Year, a term I almost forgot, suddenly touched my heart.

The rest of that day, we went to a Chinese restaurant. During dinner, we talked, laughed, and shared life experiences. And just like that, the gap between us disappeared. Just like that, we are brothers and sister again. My emotionally masochistic fog lifted and through a mist of tear I seemed see a brand new world - clear but not perfect, not perfect, but adequate. I realized that even with many significant differences, we still can be brothers and sisters.

Since that day, I understood that life is not always smooth without a hitch; but I need face adversity with an open heart. Gradually, I wasn't that tyrant anymore. I embraced the world with a new attitude. I learned to communicate, to self- sacrifice, to manage my emotion, and to be independent.

With my new attitude, the land of America gradually became my second home. I'll never forget the first time I shopped for groceries on my own; the first time I answered question in classes in fluent English; the first time I started running with friends in the soccer field; and for the first time, I become a brother. These numerous first times traced my footprints through the journey in the other side of globe. During the journey, there are beautiful landscapes, as well as road blocks, detours, and setbacks. Those obstacles polished me and rendered me strength to adopt a new world.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 30, 2008   #2
The result of receiving too much attention is usually someone far less than perfect: a little tyrant who expects everything to be done for them and cannot handle any pressure.

Two years ago, everything changed; I start my voyage to America .

However, after a while it was difficult to think they are my sister and brother.

I will feel embarrassed hugging and saying, "I love you", but they take it as greeting.

The culture collision soon aroused serious of conflicts .

As time passed , the gap between me and them grew bigger. We rarely talked . I felt like we were strangers that live under same roof.

I was in one of those moods, tiredness and

I'll never forget the first time I shopped for groceries by myself ; the first time I answer question in classes in fluent English; the first time I start running with friends in the soccer field; and for the first time, I become a brother.

Wow, I really love the part about Red Lobster. It is funny. You seem like a GREAT person. With your English, you need to work on conjugating the verbs so that you can tell a story in the PAST TENSE. Have somebody else look at this essay and see if I missed any mistakes! :)

You are cool!
OP hanson3566 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2008   #3
an American family offered me a place to live. In this family, there are mother and father, and their two kids: Taylor and Shelby. For the first time, I had a big brother and a little sister.

Can I describe this in another way?


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