Rice Supplement- Why School of Humanities?

I am submitting the Rice supplement to the Common Application. I have to answer the following with a short response of 200 words or less:

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words.

And this is my response:

My friends and teachers first made me aware of Rice University and its academic prestigiousness. I was lucky enough to be able to talk to a student at Rice who happened to be a family friend. She told me that Rice was an incredible school and that she enjoyed it immensely. Although she told me that the academic expectations were really high, she told me that I should apply after seeing my school transcript. But what finally convinced me was the recommendation of my art teacher, who told me that Rice had one of the most exceptional art programs she had ever seen. Since I was looking for an art-related major, and knowing that a degree from Rice would strongly help my chances of having a good career, I decided to apply.

What do you think of this and if i can make it better?

I think what you're stating in this paragraph is reasons why your friend and your art teacher think you should go to Rice, not why you specifically think you should attend. You should make this more geared to your opinions, and not just something your friend told you. And, how you end with "I decided to apply" makes it sound like you applied nonchalantly and didn't really care. Like you just applied on a whim. Hope this helps

I think this is good. I am not a writing expert, but here are some things I noticed:
Change lucky to fortunate
Remove but from the beginning of the 5th sentence and put to apply between me and was in the same sentence
Remove the first comma in the last sentence
I don't think that the last sentence is very conclusive. Maybe end with some expectation you have of Rice University or something to that sort. Hope that helps.

Talk about it from your own personal viewpoint. That would be the best idea. It's what they want anyway.

Make the paper more about you! I mean talk about what specifics about Rice YOU LIKE. I am applying to the school of Natural Sciences and I specifically told them I like A, B, and C about this program.