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Rice Supplement--why school of natural sciences?


ebby2010 10 / 51  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
This is my response to the question, "With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study?" This is part of the Rice supplement on the CommonApp. (and the school I chose was Wiess School of Natural Sciences)

Ever since I was young, my answer to the infamous question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" has always beeen "a doctor." I gravitated towards health care, because I enjoy helping people feel better and making significant discoveries to enhance the lives of others. The idea that I could save lives with my knowledge and experience makes me want to pursue this profession even more. I chose to apply to the Natural Sciences department at Rice, because it offers a biochemistry major, which will prepare me for medical school. A major in Biochemistry will allow me to explore the effects of diseases and chemicals on living things as well as fullfil my dream of conducting undergraduate research. My fascination for medicine also stems from my background. As an immigrant from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, my dream is to move back to my home country to build hospitals around poverty stricken areas. Many people in Ethiopia don't have access to affordable healthcare or medicine, and I hope to eradicate this problem by offering low cost services. My success means nothing to me unless I use it to give back to the community that raised me. A Bachelor of Science degree from the Wiess School of Natural Sciences at Rice University is a wonderful start on the right track to my success.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Thanks! :]

P.S. the character limit is 3000.
epirote901 4 / 8  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
I really liked how you said that you will use what you learn at Rice to help the people in your home country. The only critique I have would be that I think your first and second sentences are a little redundant, and they can be combined. And also I would be a little more specific and explain what exactly made you so interested in the sciences, besides being able to help others. Hopefully this helps, and good luck getting in to Rice!!
invisiblewriter - / 6  
Dec 29, 2009   #3
Be careful with your wording.

I gravitated towards health care, because I enjoy helping people feel better and making significant discoveries to enhance the lives of others. Have you made significant discoveries that has enhanced the lives of others? Try rewording that sentence, or separating the two clauses.

Other than that its great.

Good Luck!!


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