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"rich history in arts" - Hitching Latin America/Connecting With the Heart Common App


Esbrenn 1 / -  
Feb 16, 2011   #1
This is a rough draft of my common app transfer essay to Brown, Oberlin, and Bard.

I speak about each school more specifically in the supplements... there is little mention of them here.

Tell me what you think - any comments are appreciated. Many thanks.
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This is an account of my time leading away from and back to school.

Coming from a family with rich history in the arts, and having some creative talents myself, my acceptance and eventual attendance to Parsons, The New School for Design, seemed appropriate; convinced that my calling was within the realms of design and marketing I was excited to be studying at a respected institution in the heart of New York City. Shortly after classes began, however, I experienced an intellectual blossoming that caused a definite depreciation in what was offered academically. Most of my time became devoted to independent academic pursuits that had little to no place for grounding within the school. Parsons was too narrow a focus to feed me intellectually and individually. To help direct the investment of this new energy I began the practices of yoga and meditation. These provided a great platform for many purposeful reflections and shed light on my evolving desire, and eventual decision, to take time off.

Such reflections often led to realizations of the heart. One of them is best told through a story of my youth: at age five my mother found me standing in front of the meat department at a Star Market grocery on Mt Auburn street. I was staring wide-eyed at a packaged chicken, visibly upset. When asked what the matter was I became deeply saddened and gave no response - I had made the connection between chicken as an animal and a meat. I knew myself as an animal lover, not an animal eater, so after making a small scene in front of several near by shoppers I became a vegetarian.

This story, and the others like it, reflected an innocence and love about my childhood. Without interference from expectation, my own or others, listening to my heart was instinctual. By realigning myself in a context outside of school I hoped to reunite with such qualities; I hoped to develop a greater respect for the voice of my heart. In taking a year off to work and travel I hoped to later return with valuable insights regarding the investment of my energy, and the development of my interests and passions. So after the year at Parsons came to a humble end, and once spending a month of summer leisure in NYC - saying goodbye to the people and places that had taught me so much and often spending whole afternoons in Washington Square Park meeting and talking to strangers - I headed home to Portland, Maine.

With a one way flight to Guatemala City just three months away, I began canvassing for two organizations: Environment Maine, in an effort to protect valuable land inside Acadia National Park, and USPIRG, in an effort to raise food safety standards at schools across the country. One spoke to my general interest in issues concerning the environment, while the other touched on concerns over human rights. Both gave grounding to a developing interests in politics and public policy. Working for these campaigns provided valuable insight into three major interests and allowed me to observe myself in context to them. And more than just a confirmation, these experiences highlighted my ability to connect with people of all backgrounds. With respect, genuine passion, and a willingness to listen, I avoided the negative politics often rampant in such campaigns and engaged people honestly. This gave power to my strength in communication and also gave me the confidence I needed to flourish in Latin American. Knocking on upwards of two thousand doors, canvassing the spread of Maine demographics, and learning to be comfortable and conversational in each instance was the perfect prelude to my travels south.

In early October of 2010 I set out for eight months of travel - a journey away from all things familiar. This kicked off in Guatemala with a volunteer project that focused on yoga, meditation, and teaching arts to impoverished and disabled children within the community. The ten weeks spent with this project were filled with many new experiences that all helped to highlight different aspects of my character: a skill for teaching, a dedication to the exchange of knowledge, and an ability to lead - both creatively and physically. These traits furthered my ability to communicate and brought a wealth of knowledge through the countless conversations they afforded. This, and everything preceding it, was put into much greater perspective by my time spent post-project, though. Everything I learned and realized was translated into an earnest desire to return to school.

Travelling south from Mexico I managed to reach Costa Rica with only several instances of paid travel. I went by thumb. To hitch hike safely and confidently, I had to flow freely with life's natural rhythms and let go of whatever conditioned fears prevented me from doing so, connecting with the childhood innocence I'd set out to find. In doing so I found myself on a non-linear path flowing through new environments and experiences, one after the other. The beauty of this was in the way each one illuminated the continual investment of my energy. Whether I was in a cave with Mayan shamans, in a truck with Mexican Evangelicals, at an organic farm with ex-Wall Street economists, or anywhere else along my journey, discussions of global evolution and opportunities for social change dominated. Within these sweeping subjects, it was my passions for the environment, politics, and religion that presented themselves as the major focus points. The Earth was here long before humans populated it, and it will be here long after, so to consider ourselves exempt from it's natural laws, and to remain ignorant, is to view our relationship with it as strictly give and take. This is harmful to the Earth, of course, but also to ourselves. In order to ensure prosperity and health for all beings of this planet, we must remember where it is that we come from. We must switch our views from controller, to participator. In my desires to become a part of this transition I gained an incredible appreciation for what schooling could offer me. Confident in my abilities to connect with people and induce change, I now need a solid grounding in education. By devoting three years to intense study of the environment, I will have the grounding and direction necessary to shape a better future. And with an understanding of the politics behind change making, I will have the opportunity to involve myself at all levels - from the individual, to the community, to the society. Also, because both environmental and political concerns have deep connection to religion and spirituality, their study will give me the insight and confidence I need to lead with awareness - to lead consciously. On top of that, these are three areas that feed me deeply as an individual; their study continually gives depth to my person.

So having now observed myself in many wide-ranging contexts I return to school with confidence. I return with a knowing of where to focus my energy, and of which interests and passions are worth my dedication. Following a path directed by the heart has forever led to experiences of contentment, and happiness, and this time it leads to Brown.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 18, 2011   #2
Is it necessary to make the already-complex sentence even longer here?---> to Parsons, The New School for Design, seemed ---I think that phrase was unnecessary, so i killed it. Dead.

In early October of 2010 I set out for eight months of travel - a journey away from all things familiar. ---I just have to stop here and comment on how nice it is to let youhost a mental experience with your writing. You have such a nice way of leading the reader along... very good, eloquent use of language.

Ha ha, this is so good... if the AO does not accept you, it must be because of some kind of terrible misunderstanding. If that happens, let me know! I'll drive to Providence and straighten it out.

Two ideas:
These provided a great platform for many purposeful reflections and shed light on my evolving desire, and eventual decision to take time off -- and __________________ (give a few words that capture the main theme of this essay. The sentence at the end of the first paragraph is very important.

Such reflections often led lead to realizations of the heart.


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