I need feedback, suggestion and correction, you dude please read it and give me some
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Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Riding bicycle home in the late noon, I went over many high slopes. Home seemed far and unreachable. Some months later, while being hit by many failures at the same time, I happened to recall the trip and recognized that I was facing just a little part of many challenges in my life. As long as I still stand on the ground, many more challenges will come to me. However, the most important things are my attitude towards them and how I deal with them.
Before I decided to take the trip by bicycle, I could not image how hard it was and how many high slopes standing there for me to overcome. When I understood the fact, there was no time for regretting, only focused on my riding.
On the road of life, many challenges are ahead and they are unpredictable. Facing them is like standing in front of a three-way crossroad. I have only one choice, trying to over come it with toughness or comfortably giving up. The first choice is risky; I may earn goals or fall in the darkness of failures. I clearly know that who do not try to overcome the challenges will never be able to do so. Failures are bitter, they take people down, crush people's will. Opposite that, challenges and failures are like teachers. Facing them brings experiences and vision of our problem. Although the damage cause by them is heavy, some failure-takers seeing the true value will pick themselves up, make other efforts and may gain goals. If they fall again, they will get up again. I do not fear those challenges, risk or any failures because I still have chance if I fail or at less I learn something. Who in this world want to earn success? Everyone. But who is bold enough to face the challenges? Not all the people.
Press the pedals hardly, my muscle was hurt. Every time I force my leg to move the pedals, the pains inside became worse but I got nearer to my home. It is the only way to conquer the high slopes. When the night fell, darkness covered the space; nearly in blind condition, I ride. The night made my eyes so sensible to light that I sense the neon lights were the most beautiful things on the road. There is another kind of light, it is the most beautiful of all, it's stronger than the sun, it belongs to people, it is the light of success. Reaching that kind of light is not easy because it demands efforts devoted for overcoming the darkness of failures and challenges. I clearly understand light and darkness exist in the same space and are parallel to each other. I can not deny the existence of darkness. What I need to do is to try to walk confidently through it and reach the light. Standing on the road of life, I can see much hardness waiting for me.
My trip, in some people's views, was just a ridiculous action of some teenagers. They do not know what I have faced, how hard I have tried and what I have learned. It steeled my will. Before the trip, I feared making mistake because I did not want any body laugh at me so I never try to face or overcome any challenges. In my eye, challenge used to be something which was so great for me to overcome. Contrastingly, now, I do not fear them. Any time, I fail, I just simply get up and try again, and it does not matter if people laugh at me or try to mock at my mistakes. I can see that there are many challenges ahead and I welcome them.
I want to make some changes to your 3rd & 5th paragraph, hope it can help you
On the road of life, many challenges are ahead and they are unpredictable. Facing them is like standing in front of a three-way crossroad. I have only one choice, trying to overcome it with toughness or comfortably giving up. The first choice is risky; I may earn goals or fall in the darkness of failures. I clearly know that, who do not try to overcome the challenges will never be able to do so. Failures are bitter, they take people down and crush people's will. On the other hand , challenges and failures are like teachers. Facing them brings experiences and vision of our problem. Although the damage cause by them is heavy, some failure-takers seeing the true value will pick themselves up, make other efforts and may gain goals. If they fall again, they will get up again. I do not fear those challenges or any failures because I still have a chance if I fail or at least I learn something. Who in this world want to earn success? Everyone. But who is brave enough to face the challenges? Not all the people.
My trip, in some people's views, was just a ridiculous action of some teenagers. They do not know what I have faced, how hard I have tried and what I have learned. It steeled my will. Before the trip, I feared making mistake because I did not want anybody laugh at me, so I never try to face or overcome any challenges. In my eye, challenge used to be something which was so great to overcome. As a result, now, I do not fear them. Anytime, I fail, I just simply get up and try again, and it does not matter if people laugh at me or try to mock at my mistakes. I can see that there are many challenges ahead and I welcome them.
