This is my why UPenn essay!
Please don't hold back on the criticism!
I used to be that annoying kid who would tirelessly ask those incessant 'but why' questions. Truthfully, I am proud to say that I still am. While my 'why's are now bolstered by contradicting evidence and my voice is no longer at a piercing pitch, my unwavering curiosity still remains firmly intact. As well as a curious learner, I am also an active learner. As I ponder abstruse, theoretical concepts I learn in the classroom, my mind races to unravel the technicalities involved in a practical application. My curiosity is not prejudice, my interests encompass a range of subjects: from the convoluted and tragic tales of Greek mythology to the arguably more convoluted and tragic theories of evolution.
Students at the College are more just than repositories of information. Penn students graduate with a tangible grasp of extensive knowledge on a broad array of subjects through a carefully planned curriculum. The College provides its student with a flexible curriculum that is conducive to each student's individual interests. The College would thus afford me the opportunity to explore all my interests while simultaneously and efficiently preparing me for my major.
As an active learner, I relish in the act of using practical applications to test theoretical concepts. At the College, I know that I will have the opportunity to test and speculate to my heart's desire with the range of research opportunities offered. It excites me to know that there are over 900 research labs and over 75 percent of the students engage in these labs. As a prospective Biology major, I am eager to explore and apply in the lab, the information I learn in the lectures. Therefore, I plan to use the Center of Undergraduate Research and Fellowships (CURF) as it will afford me the opportunity to become engaged in research projects while simultaneously learning under the Penn faculty members who conduct them.
Aside from the academic and social aspects of the College, Community involvement is another important factor that is embedded into the curriculum. Philadelphia is a great city full of history and culture and it itself can be used as a classroom through which students can learn. The College also engages with a much larger community. Through Penn Global, the College affords its students the opportunity to become engaged with and positively impact people all across the globe. Integration of different thoughts and perspectives is what allows for the comprehensive education offered at Penn.
As well as having a rigorous and unsurpassed education system, the College caters to a diverse group of individuals, attracting students from over 100 different countries. Having attended an international school throughout my schooling in Malaysia, I have learned the importance of having a diverse student body. Students and staff at the College are diverse in a way that encompasses more than just racial or geographical differences; the college offers a diversity that runs the entire spectrum of knowledge, interests, experiences, and ideas. As I have attended a school celebrated for its diversity, I believe I have the ability to contribute a different perspective to conversations and discussions both inside and outside the classroom.
As an African American Muslim student, I value an education that integrates diversity and fosters tolerance. As an active community helper, I treasure an education that collaborates with the community, both local and global. As an active learner, I value an education that encourages the exploration of the unknown. As a curious learner, I want an education that allows me to divulge in a range of subjects. I know that the College is the perfect place for me to learn and grow both as a student and as a person.
I feel as if this paragraph has a lot of flowery language. You could improve its content in several ways. Here are some suggestions.
I used to be that annoying kid who would tirelessly asked those incessant 'but why' questions. Truthfully, I am proud to say that I still am. While my 'why's are now 1bolstered by contradicting evidence and my voice is no longer at a piercing pitch , my unwavering curiosity still remains firmly intact. As well as a curious learner, I am also an active learner. As I ponder 2abstruseHow about obscure? , theoretical concepts 3I learn in the classroom, my mind races to unravel the 4technicalities involved in a practical applicationThis is awkward . My curiosity is not prejudice, my interestsencompassHow about "consists of"? a range of subjects: from the convoluted and tragic tales of Greek mythology to the arguably more 5convoluted and tragicWhy tragic? theories of evolution.
