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'Rise attracts me with its copious research devotion...' The happiest students - Why Rice

LiangWu 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2013   #1
Here's my Why rice essay, please tell me how to be more persuasive with my contents. Any suggestion is deeply appreciated! Happy new year's eve!!

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? (200 word limit)

Rice attracts me with its copious research devotion coupled with close student-faculty connection. Designing in groups at the wonderful Oshman Engineering Design Kitchen right on the intro course enables me to quickly engage with peers. I will also establish lifelong friendship with professors when we collaborate in accessible research centers.

Besides engineering, I'm also interested in commercializing technology to solve social problems such as brain injury. Rice's current efforts to encourage flexible distribution allows me to explore Economics and Neuroscience. The track of Natural Science and Engineering in Neuroscience Program will definitely help establish a strong focus. Although not located in the heart of Houston, Rice is close enough that I can witness real-world problems in technological startups through Center of Civic Engagement.

Surrounded by the "happiest students" throughout the world, I will immediately feel at home, because in my specific College I will be welcomed to share its spirits in O-Week, participate in intramural basketball, and throw water balloon at the Founder's Court. I believe all these opportunities will prepare me to become an owl at Rice, possessing unconventional wisdom, and soaring through the universe of challenges.
ana523 3 / 2  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
i think it was wonderfully executed. :) It shows how really you are interested in what their school offers and how you will expand beyond this institution.
Gervin101 2 / 7 1  
Dec 31, 2013   #3
With a 200 word limit, I think you did an excellent job of displaying your interest in the school. The application persuaded me.
aaamonicaaa 3 / 11 3  
Dec 31, 2013   #4
Powerful essay in a difficult word restraint.
If anything at all, you may want to add more of what you are looking forward to contribute in the rice community while you are there. But, just a suggestion!
blazerd123 5 / 7 3  
Jan 1, 2014   #5
i love how you didn't solely focus on the academics they offered, but also the athletic opportunities. this will make you stand out as some people are solely focused on academics.
OP LiangWu 4 / 11  
Jan 1, 2014   #6
thanks for all of the comments, i've submitted it today(last day lol), did any of you need help? cause it's almost due.. just let me know

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