Ok...Is my ideas presented coherently? If not, where does it sound funny?
In the library, a friend insisted on me to read "Road to Serfdom", an "influential classical liberalism work by Hayek that is definitely mind-opening". When I opened the book, I was immediately engrossed. It was different from all the works about politics I had read previously. The theory of Hayek was not completely alien to me--many ideas I encountered before have their roots in his theory. What I find astonishing and engaging in this book was the amazing power of "systematic". I have always been interested in politics and love to read political editorials, attracted by their strong views and simple, yet, convincing arguments. But now I find them less attractive and far less convincing, because their length limits them from fully developing the idea. But the book on my lap, with a systematic structure, was able to expand the theory into almost all aspects of economic life and point out insightful facts from numerous angles to support the main theory. I recalled the various problems I encountered because of understanding politics merely through reading editorials: every editorial I read seemed equally convincing to me; when I talked about politics I quoted ideas from articles I read instead of forming my own; I cannot find flaws in those seemingly reasonable arguments even if I disagree with them. Suddenly it dawned on me: all these problems occurred because my understanding on politics is a collection of scattered thoughts accumulated from all the articles I read, while the mind of a true intellectual, like Hayek, should be a powerful systematic whole.
It flows nicely! however, I think that your attention getter could use more work.
Draw the reader in with something really interesting!
In the library,a friend insisted that i read "Road to Serdom" and i would single the second set of quotation marks because it's a quote within a quote. but i think it would be better if you just removed the first two sentences and try to incorporate the fact that your friend recommended the book in later paragraphs.
Can you return the favor? :) :) :)
Ok...Is my ideas presented coherently? If not, where does it sound funny?
I have always been interested in politics and love to read political editorials, attracted by their strong views and simple, yet, convincing arguments.
The Road to Serfdom was different from all the works about politics I havehad read previously.
What I find astonishing and engaging in this book was the amazing power of "systematic".unsure as to what this is saying Editorials are attractive, but not as powerful as the Road ...
Suddenly,it dawned on meI questioned : Why am I so easily convinced?
... while the mind of a true intellectual, like Hayek, should be a powerful systematic whole.
Instead of asking a series of questions at the end, why don't you use the space elaborating on the answer? =) It was really good though!
Critique mine pleasee
Looking for proofread.."The Road to Serfdom version II" Stanford Intellectual
OK..I reorganized the previous esssay. How does this one flow? Did I express my ideas coherently? Anything that sound funny?
many thanks..I will return the favor
Good job. It flows nicely. I think using a specific example would be nice though.. like what's the main theory and how does the book support the main theory from numerous angles?
