I am applying to the American University in Cairo (AUC), and they asked me to write this essay which should be 300-500 words in length. I would really appreciate it if it were read and I got some feedback. What errors did I make? How can I improve my essay? Give me suggestions. Thank you :)
Here Goes :
Road to success...
Having a bright future is probably what everyone seeks, but sometimes it can be quite challenging to acquire such thing. As a student looking for that kind of future and trying to achieve it, I found that the American University in Cairo would be a good place to start.
There were many factors that made me make that choice. One of which is the quality of education which offers the great teaching techniques of America in Cairo. The professors there are well-trained which is an essential feature in the process of choosing any university. They guide the students there to success and point them in the right direction. They have helped many famous AUC graduates become who they are now.
Having great interest in computers and technology, I thought The American University in Cairo would provide a great opportunity for me to develop this interest with its variety of majors, many of which have caught my attention, especially the Computer Engineering major. Using modern equipment and teaching methods, the AUC seemed like the best choice of all.
Being passionate about computers and programming, I've always wanted to be a successful computer engineer, so choosing the right university for this was a big step forward into accomplishing my goal. The American University in Cairo had what I was looking for, from reputation amongst a lot of people, to many well-known AUC graduates who have become famous due to their achievements, to the variety of majors to choose from...etc.
The AUC is also the region's premier English-language University which makes it recognized internationally, so if an AUC graduate had any plans to travel abroad for the purpose of studying or just starting his career, they wouldn't have much trouble with that.
What also helped increase my satisfaction, was when I first walked into the university. I could see world class quality when I took the very first look at it. Judging by the university's level and its convenient location -although not very close to where I live- I think I've made the right decision choosing it as my university as these factors definitely result in high quality education. So it would be exceptionally beneficial for me to be an "AUCian".
To cut a long story short, studying at The American University in Cairo is really the best option there is, and will be of great use to me in the future. The high-quality education system of the AUC in addition to my desire to learn from its professors, let alone its reputation, are what made choosing it easy. Hopefully, this is the university that would guide me to the road I wish to pursue; the road to success.
The Road to Success
To be honest, you would not win an award for most convincing essay. It sounds to me like you have not put much thought into how you will be able to benefit from AUC. For most of your reasons, you can literally substitute any college name in for AUC and have it work. The things you wrote about your desire to pursue Computer Engineering were good, but we need more of it. Does AUC offer computer programming courses? Does it give you research opportunities or does it focus more on lectures, and from your high school experience, which kind helps you learn better? What does AUC offer that no other college does? And many, many other colleges have a high-quality education, a good reputation, and well-trained professors.
Thank you so much. I will try improving it based on what you said :)
As you said, many other colleges do have a high-quality education, a good reputation and well-trained professors, BUT this university is actually one of the, if not "The", best one around.
I will put more work into it making it better and more convincing, but then again, English is not my native language, so I may make many errors, but oh well. I will do my best :D
Again, thanks a lot!
