During the summer of 2009, my family and I took a road trip to see the Northwestern campus. As we past the Sears Tower and Cloud gate, I realized that the urban setting of Chicago was leery and unnerving for a suburban girl like myself. As my family's Honda Pilot past the green Evanston sign and entered the campus, I was completely taken back by the juxtaposition of modern architecture and Victorian style buildings. The combinations of extremes were eye-opening and summoned the urge for me to grab a textbook for Poli Sci 240 Introduction to International Relations and read on the freshly mown green grass on Deering Meadow. Although regular classes weren't in session, the local Barnes & Nobles was lurking with students in their Wildcat purple. Their bodies were carrying humongous loads, but the expressions on their faces contained enthusiasm, and not discomfort from the weight of their textbooks. My family and I stopped by the closest Starbucks, sat outside, basked in the comfortable summer heat and sights of a visionary college town. After this brief college visit, I immediately went on the Northwestern website and perused the website longer than I usually did for Facebook (2-4 hours).
From this browsing session, I found that Northwestern was the university that could fully prepare me for my ambition to be an effective global citizen. To fulfill this goal, I suspect that I will be an international studies major at Northwestern and what intrigues me the most about this major at the university, is its International Studies residential college option. It provides the opportunity of learning beyond the classroom, living with peers and a roommate that have the same passions, as I do. This is my definition of an idealistic collegiate education, and Northwestern offers the seemingly fantastic imagination.
Of course, plain old fun and games should also be added to any perfect picture. Beyond anything else in my high school career, I remember the experiences I had with my extracurricular activities, not the grades I received in my classes (gosh! If I only had that single measly point in Enr. Physical Science my freshman year...). Only with a huge undergraduate class of over 8,000 people does a gargantuan list of intriguing and out-of-this-world activities appear. I see the amazing varsity athletics that shine in the Big Ten, where I can reminisce on my own high school varsity football games, always cheering for a winning team. I get excited about watching the Freshman Fifteen perform, where at Northwestern, is known as an a cappella group, not a weight-challenging plague that affects almost every freshman at all colleges nationwide. I am enthused by the Happiness Club because I imagine that it will be my "scene" at Northwestern. This club will always allow me to access my childhood by participating in sticker giveaways, chalking sidewalks, and building sand castles.
These unique qualities of Northwestern are what make me want to "carpe" a college education.
it's cute! but i'd take out stuff about facebook and that bit about points in your class...seems a little whiny. also, check for spelling and grammar errors!
can you take a look at mine? its also for northwestern, its titled Purple in the thread, probably on the first page
pastpassed the Sears Tower and Cloud gate
You don't really have to add the time limit you spend on facebook.
Also, I think you should include why you are a perfect fit for Northwestern.
But, you had really good details about Northwestern!
Look at mine, please!
Great details! :)
I would definitely take out: "(gosh! If I only had that single measly point in Enr. Physical Science my freshman year...)" and the 2-4 hours part. I see you're trying to add voice, but it just don't mesh well. (I also wish I had one more point in that class my freshman year. haha).
(I included the Happiness Club in my NU essay too) ;)
pastpassed the Sears Tower and Cloud gate
Honda Pilot you'll be using passed not past , because you are passing things on your way to the Northwestern campus
pastpassed the green Evanston
and read on the freshly ---> and to read
in the freshly (parrallel structure, to grab, to read)
My family and I stopped by the closest Starbucks,
sat outside,and while
in the comfortable summer heat, we admired the
and sights of a
visionary college town.
Overall, its good but you need to talk more about yourself. If oyu add the prompt I can come back and see if your essay really answers it, but without it I can't say much more than for grammar. Besides the past and passed problem, I think its mostly grammatically correct. Good Luck and thanks for editing mine.