Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
The alarm clock blared. My eyes slightly opened, seeing nothing but the darkness that was soon followed by the red digits forming numbers that indicated it was too early to get up. I wasn't a part of the team, why had I even signed up to volunteer at this debate tournament? Of course, Mr. Schletzbaum made me, and so I dragged myself out of bed and to Milpitas High School.
Work at the tab room slowed down at around three o'clock in the afternoon and I was allowed to watch one of the rounds, given that I reported back immediately after it was done. I followed my sophomore friend and her partner to their classroom, judging their crispy suits and heels.
I sat in bewilderment as I watched my first debate round. The forty minute round passed in a blur, but the fierceness stuck to me."Drone warfare will keep our soldiers safe from ground battle," squeaked the opposition. "Despite the perceived effectiveness of drones at eliminating recognized militants, extremism has actually increased exponentially in reaction to the strikes. We believe drone warfare is immoral and dangerous therefore we negate the resolution," thundered my tiny friend. The same girl who once looked so frail in my physics classroom turned into a lion as she roared facts, defending her side of the debate.
That cold Saturday was essential to my intellectual development because with my friend's debate round I realized the power of knowledge. I found beauty in the dancing arguments, effortlessly making their way down the room. I fell in love with the epic duel. In this battle, neither size nor strength matter. The only weapon is knowledge, fired as facts and statistics in hopes of instilling fear in the opponents. Suddenly, I realized that knowledge only intimidates the ignorant, the weak of intellect, and in that invigorating moment I vowed to never allow myself to be afraid
Please give some feedback :)
Hey, I think your essay is really good! I would just say that instead of writing, "That cold Saturday was essential to my intellectual development because with my friend's debate round I realized the power of knowledge. I found beauty in the dancing arguments, effortlessly making their way down the room. I fell in love with the epic duel. In this battle, neither size nor strength matter," you could jazz it up a bit to not make it sound so rigid. For example (just my suggestion), "It was in the intensity, the compiling sweat beads on my forehead, the heart racing heat of the moment that I realized the power of knowledge. I found beauty in the dancing arguments, effortlessly making their way down the room. I fell in love with the epic duel. In this battle, neither size nor strength mattered "
Otherwise, I think it's really great! Good luck!
Would you please help me with mine?
