Tell us about a time you used your creativity. This could be something you made, a project that you led, an idea that you came up with, or pretty much anything else. (200-250 words)
After participating in Andrew's Leap at Carnegie Mellon University, I was inspired to create a robotics club in my school, and I sought out the help of a physics teacher. We received an immediate response from other students, and together we properly organized a club that we named Quasics (short for quantum physics). I wanted to display our collective talents, so I entered our club into an annual nationwide robotics competition organized by FIRST. Despite the inexperience of our members and the various challenges we faced such as the six-week time frame allotted, together we constructed a functioning robot that we called M0J0. Competing in the Pittsburgh Regional, we placed first among all rookie teams and eighth among all teams. The following year, we entered the season with more experience, a better-organized team, and clear objectives. We managed to raise over $10,000, including $6,500 from NASA, for parts and equipment to build a faster, stronger robot called G3N0. That year, we advanced as far as the semifinals. Now, I am entering my third season in the FIRST competition as the president of the Quasics robotics team, and I believe that we will reach nationals this year. With the invaluable experience I gained through Andrew's Leap and creating and leading my school's robotics club, I plan to continue studying engineering and utilizing my skills, talents, and the resources of MIT.
Be cruel, harsh, and whatever else you must. If anyone else wants me to read his or her essay(s), I would be happy to.
(short for quantum physics). .)
faced, such I don't know about this one but I like the comma there.
Well, I don't see any problems with grammar or spelling or anything. I just have to say: Well done.
Just to consider: If I were you, I would put a little more passion to your writing just so it shows more about YOU as a person. But I think you did a great job with the club story.
Hope this helped!
Read mines please-
Bowdoin Supplemental essay...
FPU and Pepperdine...
...and together we properly organized a club that we named Quasics (short for quantum physics).
With the invaluable experience in _______, ___________, and ________ that I gained through... ----(list 3 things you gained experience in)
:-)
