Hello, Tiffany)
I think your essay is quite OK, you can add more details(not necessary I think), unless there is a word limit.
.. because even though I'm usually quite practical I tend to also be quite a bit spontaneous
And one of my newest recent bursts of inspiration was to application for a job, which would allow meso that I couldto fundtake up guitar lessons myself
and somehow connect withunleash my inner rock star.
... to occur, for what kind ofplacecompany would hire a ,then ,16 year girl with no serving experience in this (what this?) economy
Imagine my surprise , when 3 days later I got
a ratherunimpressive man
I thought of as the epitome of a cool boss
a kinda dissonance
. I, unlike many other middle- classed teens, am willing to admit to being sheltered( I think better to write: heavily dependent on parents , that's more clear), and along with that innocence was a preconceived notion that all adults were responsible and to respected. So imagine my surprise (you used that before) when I met someone who seemed to defy my every expectation for of a man( you expect smnfor a dinner ) in such a position of power, in a good way of course!
Or at least that was what I kept telling myself,innocence( naivete) and denial are made of pretty heavy material ,(what do you mean)
a man that lacked the personality qualities to be in his position.
I was forced to tell many a people that we were "out of [insert food here],( you should've mentioned before what job you got )
He inadvertently stripped me of my armor against this cruel world.( what armor? if innocence, then I think it doesn't kinda suit to context)
I'm going to end this by saying Roland motivates me, not because I look up to him, but rather to make sure I don't end up like him.