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The role of my family on who I am - help edit my essay, I want positive and negative reinforcement.


Davidg021 3 / 4  
Aug 2, 2016   #1
My family environment played a major role in helping me become who I am currently. My mother has always motivated me to strive and do my utmost, especially at hard times. Whether I was having a hard time with a class or I was coming home thinking about quitting track and field because of how exhausting the practices were, she always pushed me to my true potential. My mother taught me that although something may seem too difficult to handle, it can be achieved if you attempt it with the correct mind-set. She has instilled many routines and characteristics that prove to be helpful in and out of school. These routines and characteristics include: usually never quitting on a task no matter how difficult it may seem, always over-preparing myself for almost anything by studying and learning the material necessary, and by becoming passionate for everything that I put myself to do. Having this pride to complete tasks and challenge obstacles has helped me become the person that I am now academically and that is all thanks to my mother and her high expectations of me.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Aug 3, 2016   #2
Hi David, here's my take on your essay;

- My family environment played a major role
- in helping me become who I am currentlytoday ( I believe this is a more appropriate word ) . \
- and do my utmostthe best I can , especially at hard times.
- Whether I was having a hard time with ain class
- or I was coming home thinking about quitting
- me to my trueunleash my potential.
- you attemptconquer it with the correctright mind-set.
- always over-preparing myself forbeing always ready to almost anything

There you have it David, I hope the above corrections are helpful towards your revision.
Overall, you have the idea of how to approach the prompt, however, this did not transpire in the essay, therefore a little more practice is needed. I wish to review the revised essay soon. Keep writing!


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