Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 6


What would you want your roommate to know about you? - oxymoron


mbhaire 7 / 17  
Dec 29, 2008   #1
I wasn't sure if this was too informal... I'm right at the character limit, but does anyone have some suggestions? Thanks!

Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your freshman roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better.

Dear Future Roomie,

I was talking to my mom about describe me in words, and she laughed and gave me one: oxymoron. At first I thought this was her oh-so-clever way of insulting me, but I soon realized that I am, in fact, an oxymoron. I'm a nerdy fashion plate, an organized mess, a predictable sporadic. And I love it.

My "nerdiness" is a trait for which I've become known among my classmates. I'm "that smart girl" who will willingly help you on calculus homework or Latin translations. Around the rest of the school, however, everyone knows me as "that girl with the crazy clothes and wicked high shoes." It's been my goal every year of high school to wear a different outfit everyday, and this year I'm keeping track of my progress via a photo album on facebook. I can't explain it, but I love school just as much as I love fashion.

One look at the usual state of my room might send many running for boxes to organize the mounds of shoes, magazines, books, papers, and assorted gadgets I've accumulated, but I know where to find everything I need in under three minutes. I may be the only one who understands my system of "organization," but as roommates, I will be sure to let you in on the whereabouts of anything you may need to borrow.

Finally, the one thing you can always be sure of with me is that you probably won't know what I'll do next. I'll be singing a twangy Brad Paisley song one minute, then breakin' it down to a T-Pain rap the next. I'll be dutifully studying in the library, and then decide that it's time to curl up with popcorn and a movie.

I'm really excited to meet you, and I look forward to some crazy adventures together!

Affectionately yours,
Marisa Haire
zowzow 10 / 175  
Dec 29, 2008   #2
funny and good essay

just a correction about the starting sentence though

I was talking to my mom about how to put me into words

is too informal

should be something like

I was talking to my mother about how to describe me in words.

i'm sure you can make it better
finals1234 - / 6  
Dec 29, 2008   #3
I personally think it is wayy to informal. I applied Early Action to stanford and got accepted!! but mine was much more formal and i used just two examples, not a list of every characterisitc i think i am. so you might want to expand on only One of you oxymorons.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 30, 2008   #4
--------
I was talking to my mom about how to describe myself in words, and she laughed and gave me one: oxymoron.

I'm a nerdy fashion plate, a hard-working procrastinator, an organized mess, a predictable sporadic.

My nerdiness is a trait for which I've become known among my classmates .

I'm "that smart girl" who will help you on calculus homework or Latin translations.

Like many of my peers, I claim that I work best when doing something at the last minute.

Your essay is so cute!!

My family says about me, if it wasn't for the last minute, I'd NEVER get anything done!!

Good luck in school!

:)
flio191 2 / 14  
Dec 31, 2008   #5
I don't think you need to direct any of it to "your roommate," simply because you need your language to speak to an admissions officer. Though I personally like the informal tone, and it would be great if you were actually talking to your roommate, I think this needs a little more direction in a more formal sense.

My "nerdiness" (not a word) is a trait for which I've become known among my class. I'm "that smart girl" who will help you on calculus homework or latin translations. Around school, however, everyone knows me as "that girl with the crazy clothes and wicked high shoes." I can't explain it, but I love science just as much as I love fashion.

If you can say more with less words (which you can!) you should. Like "finals1234" said, you should focus more on one or two traits, not fifteen. This way, your message will be a lot more clear.

Good luck! It's a great start!
vaibhav2614 4 / 7  
Dec 31, 2008   #6
Nah these essays dont need to be formal. I've read the essays of plenty of admited applicants. Your essay is just fine


Home / Undergraduate / What would you want your roommate to know about you? - oxymoron
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳