1. Roommate letter:
Hey roommie,
I just received the admission notice from Stanford, telling me that I've got admission into the very best university in the world. I am excited and curious about what our college life at Stanford will be like. Congratulations!
I'm aware that we won't have enough time to explore every single thing at Stanford because there are too many great offers. Therefore, I don't plan to be in our dorm much. Of course, I have to do homework and sleep, but that's pretty much it. No pressure! I'm not an antisocial chick who is happy being alone. In fact, I'd love for you to join my mission. If you think it's rather difficult to experience every corner of Stanford just by staring out from our room's window, you'd be my perfect partner. If not, it's okay. In case you forgot your room key or need me when I'm away and you can't call me (yes, I usually forget my cellphone), you can find me in these places:
Labs: I hope to convince a future professor of mine to let me work with him or her so I can make the most of Stanford's world-class faculty and research facilities. I don't know where my pursuits will land me yet, but because I'm looking to study microbiology, try the Sherman Fairchild Science Building.
Practice room: I love science, but I'm also passionate about music. I can be in Braun Music Center, practicing piano, or shaking my head while screaming aloud a new Taylor Swift song.
Sport events: You probably won't find me on a college varsity team but I'm an avid sport fan. I'll watch any game; your best bets are the Stanford Stadium or Taube Tennis Center. I might spend some time underwater too (hint: I won't be driving to the beach though).
Libraries: You can try Falconer Library. I could be browsing there to fuel my ambitions. (I have this obsession with the library cubicle!) It gives me a sense of privacy and protection.
If you join me, perhaps you can learn to love some of the things I do. Of course, this experience is mutual; I'm open to your passions too.
2. What matters to you? Why?
Time is the powerful force that aims to control every word I utter, every step I take, and every decision I make. Simply put, making the most of time is what matters to me.
My battle against this abstract, yet finite, concept started on my first day of 2nd grade. Instead of napping when I got home from school, I would attack my To Do List. That evening, I would have to go to my first class at the Music Conservatory. I discovered that the only way to accomplish all I set out to do was through effective "time management", a phrase I had never heard at age of 7.
In spite of my compulsive planning, I may lose the battle against time, or so I thought. Due to a language barrier, I have to pull all-nighters many times to catch up with assignments. With an effort of trying to disprove stereotypes of immigrants' abilities, I spend days and months studying hard to show people that newcomers have an equal chance to thrive. Many adults said: "It takes time to get used to a new language. Going to a community college is good enough for now." I'm impatient, so their comment really worried me. Would I still be able to pursue my passion? Ever since I was small, I dreamed of becoming a physician; therefore, I trained myself to fight and overcome time's challenges. Patients in poor countries like Vietnam don't have the time to wait for medical help. In fact, my grandma forever left me, alone in my bed at night, because the ambulance just couldn't win the battle against time while trying to rush her to the hospital. So I thought: "Someone has to be quick enough. I want to be that person!"
I still have a long battle to fight, and time is never going to back down. But I will not surrender either, not because I now live in a different country. In fact, that passion of being able to defeat time to save patients' lives is burning inside me, stronger than ever. With Stanford education, I'm positive that time will finally have to surrender my enthusiasm and determination.
Thanks. Any criticism is welcomed.
I enjoyed reading your essays, but there are a few things that I would change.
In the second essay:
Patients in poor countries, like Vietnam, don't have the time to wait for medical help.
I would change this...
In fact, my grandma forever left me, alone in my bed at night, because the ambulance just couldn't win the battle against time while trying to rush her to the hospital.
to
In fact, while I was lying in bed, my grandmother left me forever because the ambulance just couldn't win the battle against time while trying to rush her to the hospital.
In your sentence alone in my bed at night is a misplaced modifier. It sounds like your grandmother died in your bed because that cluase was refering to your grandmother.
Best of luck getting in to Stanford.
