Here is a great example of a situation where an essay would be better off without a certain sentence:
Three years ago, I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to travel back to my roots, to Algeria.
The trip was eye opening to say the least.
I was suddenly very aware that I take a lot of daily acts for granted.
If you cut that sentence, the essay becomes so cool, because you carry the reader right into something you were suddenly aware of.
At Barrett's Honor College, I hope to come together and share my experiences with others and grasp the opinions and beliefs of others, all the while broadening my learning horizon. I hope to provide a different perspective to other scholars and maximize my learning potential at Barretts.
This is nicely written, but it is very general. Do you have a specific plan? If so, I bet a sentence about it would be fascinating.