Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.
During the summer of my sophomore year, I had a round table discussion assignment for my dual credit government class in which we would debate current supreme court cases the following week. As I looked at the paper on what topics my professor had assigned, one supreme court case stood out to me. All around the United States, people had been anxious about the result the supreme court would announce that weekend over same sex marriage. While millions were protesting for this case to not become a right, others were cheering and joining together in parades for this case to finally become a law for all U.S states. The following day, the results were in, same sex marriage was now legalized in all states in the U.S. on June 26, 2015. As I wrote my discussion assignment over this case, I watched the news in which they showed the hatred that was initiated all over the states from religion interference and conservatives.
When Monday came along, and my chosen debate topic was in discussion, we had to turn our sign green or red to show if we were against or for the supreme case. As I turned my paper to green, I was not shocked for many of my classmates to turn theirs red. Due to Texas being a republican state, I was aware that many Texas residents were conservative. As we began to discuss and portray our chosen side, I heard my classmates opinions on the topic. A few spoke about how religion interference affected the case as well as the undermining of morals and ethics. My initial feelings toward their responses for the case were concerned and biased. I was very confused on the fact that people were making cruel statements such as "I don't want my kids to grow up and think that is ok" in the discussion inputting their full beliefs and thoughts about the rights coming into action.
Soon after I finished hearing the negatives, I became very open minded of the statements made, embedding them into my thoughts before I discussed my side for same sex marriage being legalized. When it was the green sides turn, I discussed how I believed that same sex marriage was fair to become a law in which it did not discriminate homosexuals from their rights to get married. I spoke about my beliefs that every human should be treated equally and has the right to be happy and married to the person that they love. Although I thoroughly understood my opposing side due to them being raised on believing same sex relationships wrong due to their morals and ethic beliefs, I was open minded to the fact that we should respect others opinions and learn more about their beliefs.
Although my classmates beliefs were very diverse from mine in this case, I learned to become a very open minded person especially when you begin to debate critical topics. Although my beliefs were not changed, the experience I gained allowed me to become more understanding. I am now more observant and interested to learn on others beliefs and reasoning behind it.
I really like you anecdote and how you went into details on your experience. However, I think you should be more reflective on what you've learned from that experience. The Obergfell case is extremely controversial and recent so it is very well know. It would be better to use your precious word count on describing how you've changed from the experience.
Samantha, I believe that the essay you came up with is right on the mark for the prompt. The way that your class discussed the landmark decision about same sex marriage shows that it is a topic that is no longer taboo in our classrooms. It also proves that students are now treated more like adults in the sense that your opinions were received instead of quashed by the school administration. Your discussion of the events that unfolded really made the essay a very interesting read.
However, I believe that you could have spent an equal amount of time developing your state of mind or opinions about the case. It is always best to fully develop the discussion of your original opinion on the case prior to the supreme court decision and your class debate on the topic. I am sure that you have already been a part of some sort of discussion or exposure to the topic before. So, it is rather important that you offer the reviewer an early idea as to what your opinion was, prior to the assignment and research.
You can then mention if you changed your mind about it or not. I don't really get a clear sense of your opinion prior to your doing research for the assignment. Did you have any sort of opinion about it or did you just develop one for the assignment? If you just developed it for the assignment, then please make that clear. The only thing we have clear at the moment is that you support same sex marriage and the debate did not change your opinion. But since it is based on your homework, we are left to wonder if this was your opinion even before the assignment? This is something that could occur to the reviewer as he reads your essay so you need to be sure and plug that hole just in case.
Samantha, I agree that the essay you were able to write is indeed very well written.
You did not just answer the prompt to a T, but you justified what is asked of the prompt
for you to write.I think the key to your successful essay is your attention to details,
your nature deals very closely with situations where the attention to details is much
needed and you didn't fail in any sense, in fact I can't remember when was the last time I
got surprised of a such a good essay.
I hope you do continue to write more essays or articles for you not to loose that skill in writing.
I must add as well that the essay can be presented well if you break it into two paragraphs to create a breather.
