For this essay I chose the following prompt:
Chicago author Nelson Algren said, "A writer does well if in his whole life he can tell the story of one street." Chicagoans, but not just Chicagoans, have always found something instructive, and pleasing, and profound in the stories of their block, of Main Street, of Highway 61, of a farm lane, of the Celestial Highway. Tell us the story of a street, path, road - real or imagined or metaphorical.
Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thanks!
I turn my head towards the backseat window of our blue minivan. Outside, bitterly cold gusts send snow in all directions around us, swirling about the Wisconsin countryside. I stare, entranced, as wisps of the white powder flow across the highway, leaving strange shapes behind. Though the weather may be freezing and unruly, I feel warm and peaceful in the backseat of the family car. On either side of me one of my younger sisters sleep with rosy cheeks. We are traveling slowly, caution overruling impatience to meet with relatives for the holiday. Secretly, however, I am happy to have more time to take in the swirling landscape around Route 151.
Route 151 (otherwise known as "the way to Grandma's house" in my mind) is an important part of me and holds a special place in my memories. It connects two places that I have called home, Madison, Wisconsin and Dubuque, Iowa and no matter which direction I travel on it, I am heading towards family. When I think of Route 151, my mind is flooded with nostalgia of past meetings and departures with friends and loved ones. This road has carried my thoughts and dreams from place to place, connecting my story with its own.
The route itself has been a source of wonderment for me since I was small. As a child, I was amazed at how the road literally went through hills rather than over or around them. The blues, grays and yellows of the exposed rock layers sparked my imagination; it was easy to pretend that there were dinosaur bones, diamonds or other mysterious treasures trapped within the rock. In the largest hills, it could seem almost as though you were in some canyon or subterranean path. Today I still admire the tremendous work that must have gone into moving the many tons of rock in order to build the route.
For me, the most wonderful thing about Route 151 is the Dubuque-Wisconsin Bridge. The pale green bridge spans the Mississippi, connecting two states. Two great arcs rise above the bridge, connected by large metal bars that create triangular windows onto the majestic river below. While the bridge itself may not be the most awe-inspiring structure ever built, it is, for my siblings and me, a symbol of transition. The bridge not only spans the Mississippi, but also my emotions and memories of two places I call home.
What draws me to Route 151 is that its story is also part of my story. I perceive this road, which others may think mundane, as something almost magical and hyperphysical since it not only connects one place to another, but links together many of my thoughts, emotions and experiences.
Your essay conveys a good sense of fun and nolstagia, you stick with the topic very well. However, I think you might need some sort of other emotion added, maybe an example of something you really had fun with, or something about your grandmother.
I mean it's not necessary, since out of 10, I'd give you a 9 myself. Probably there would be a little grammartical mistake, but I think you did great.
Angela629
I was going to mention that I really like some of the phrases in this last sentence:
I perceive this road, which others may think mundane, as something almost magical and hyperphysical, because it not only connects one place to another, but also links together many of my thoughts, emotions and experiences.
I added some words to make it a little better.
:)
