Please help me with my ideas and constructions of my essay. And if possible, can anyone please check grammar mistakes for me?
Any suggestions are welcomed! Thanks!
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My face must take on a ghastly expression when I heard those words softly and quickly poured out from two of my classmates. "For sure she has been spoiled by her family." "Yeah, who else would ask for leave for so many times? I think she is just making excuses." "I agree. Seriously, she has never finished any of morning run..."Silently stood in a toilet enclosure，I felt like my heart was burning so violently that even my face, my hands and my legs were on fire. Rippling sound of water stopped, and sporadic sound of conversation gradually vanished into air. I muffled my face. I just wanted to have a huge cry. For God's sake that I wasn't making any excuses; I did have spasms each time I asked for rest since the start of winter-morning run! I stared blankly at the ground: How on earth COULD I ever fail on running? Since when did I become so weak? My thought unintentionally went to my past...
At my second grade in the primary school, Provincial Sport School selected me to join the National Gymnastic Group. My mother, who thought the gymnastic training was greatly strenuous, refused the invitation from the Sport School. In the winter of the seventh grade, teachers from school track-and-field team noticed my physical advantages and then wanted to enroll me to the team. As a girl who was too shy to reject people, I started training with other students. Leg pressing, push-up, long-distance race... Whenever I repeated those dull and dry actions, my mind was filled with movies and novels. And getting up early from a warm quilt was just a torture for me. Finally my mum made a call to tell teacher my quitting the track-and-field team. Since that time, athleticism had become a stranger outside my world until I entered high school.
I was once a top student in the middle school. But in high school, things went differently. That I no longer get the lead position of study- especially physics - became an unacceptable truth which I was not able to face. Physics teacher advised me to practice more, but every time I could only finish few questions, then I stuck on the questions behind. I turned over papers again and again, I bite on the shaft of pen, I altered different sitting postures, but I just couldn't keep going on exercises. I was so upset that I even became unconfident to talk with my classmates who had high scores. In the book It Takes a Village, Hilary Clinton has written: We should never give up any child, for each child has the opportunity to bring about the God's given potential. But why couldn't I raise up my physics scores? Was I the given-up one? I asked myself these questions at that time, and now these questions are once again brought to my face. I don't want to, and I can't let myself down this time on running. So then I did something which made my classmates surprised and even I could not believe today: I entered my name for 3000-meter race - an item everybody hated - of sports meeting on my own initiative.
Sports meeting was only a week away. And I started my practice. At the first time, for initial 1500 meters, I needed to take a rest every 500 meters; for the latter half run, I could only walk. I tried to do more practice, but my weak body which long-timely lacked exercises was not able to have long-distance race any more. Finally, even at the last night before sports meeting, I could only run for approximately 2000 meters with stops.
The day of competition came. Standing on the brilliant white starting line, I got so nervous that I thought someone else could even hear my heart beating. I swallowed the saliva trying to push down the sick feeling in my stomach. I kept soothing myself: It's not a big deal. Finally, "Pang!" The gun shot. We eight athletes, three of which were from school track-and-field team, began running. I was actually not bad that I ranked at the third place for the first five or six minutes' run, but then I felt I was completely exhausted. There were still 2000 more meters to go!! A hot and bitter bloody smell suddenly welled up to my throat, and a sense of dizziness came to my brain. Other people had gradually passed me one by one, blowing up flying ashes. My legs were heavy like being filled with lead; my body was drenched in sweat. I thought of giving up. At that time the only thing I wanted to do was to stop! But I couldn't. The words I heard in the toilet once again resounded around my ears, and I could even image the mock faces turned up on those two girls who talked about me. For years I had not persevered on anything; this time, I must keep going on! I told myself. Grinding my teeth, I continued running. Indeed, I could not even say that I was running, it was rather something like malformed walking, but at least I did not stop. When I finally reached the end point, I felt a sense of completion which I had not felt for a long and long time. I walked with my trembling legs, smiling to everyone I met. I thought I had known what was wrong with my study. My classmates ran to me, we laughed together to our hearts' content for my performance. They said: "You are unbelievable. We all thought you might fall down in faint the next moment. But you finished! You may not be the first place, but you are still a winner!"
Yes, I won. I won myself at that sports meeting, and now you can see how my physics goes. God has never given up me; he is always there, because I do not give up myself.
Shouldn't the title be "A Run That Never Fades" to make the subject and verb agree?
At my second grade in the primary school, Provincial Sport School I was selected me to join the National Gymnastic Group.
Leg pressing, push-up, long-distance race... Whenever I repeated those dull and dry actions, my mind was filled with movies and novels.
^seems a little too random/inserted, the flow could be worked on?
That I no longer get the lead position of study- especially physics - became an unacceptable truth which I was not able to face.
^Awkward phrasing.
I swallowed the my saliva
I was actually not bad that I ranked at the third place for the first five or six minutes' run
^Awkward phrasing.
There are some awkward phrasings in this essay, I would suggest you read it out loud and fix some of those mistakes first.
