an identity, interest or talent
Here is my prompt:
most students have an identity an interest or a talent that defines them in an essential way essay. Tell us about yourself.
"Run!"
My dad's patience erupts. The sweat drips from my face as I try to control my breath. I dribble around every cone and miss again and again. The fatigue caused me to lose all confidence. I collapse.
"Get up!"
I glance at my brother, but he too had no energy. I get up, but I have no choice. Mandatory practices with my dad were always distressing.
Since the age of four, this is how I was introduced to basketball. Fast forwarding to today, I developed a love and appreciation for the sport. Not only have my brothers and I loved playing our whole life, it also is the foundation of our family.
Like most people that have played sports their whole life it has helped them to develop special qualities. Basketball has gave me the ability to be a better teammate, student, and leader. Along with that, it has put me through one of the most difficult times in my life.
As a freshman I was the leader of the varsity basketball team. Most people recognized me as the guy who was really good at basketball, which I took pride in. I am 5'7" and have never been a great athlete with natural talent, but I practiced relentlessly in order to fulfill my life goal of playing for a college. Basketball was the one thing in my life that released me from all my stress. If I lost the privilege to play, I would begin to lose my sense of myself. Then it happened.
During my Junior year I tore my Anterior Cruciate Ligament. This is the worst ligament injury an athlete can suffer because the recovery time is typically eight months. At this point, I had lost all hope. I felt like my lifelong dreams of playing college basketball were over. Every google search of the injury put me a little closer to depression. Although I began physical therapy a week after my injury, I was truly dispirited to even begin my recovery.
A few weeks went by and my physical therapist gave me hope that I thought was forever lost. She was insistent every session that I would make a full recovery. All her positivity helped me see that there were more opportunities than just playing college basketball. At this point, I began visualizing myself in different careers. Then it clicked. Why not become a Physical Therapist? I love talking to and helping people. Plus, the support I got made me happy again and I would love to be that support to give to others. Not only did I research and ask questions, but I was able to see first-hand what her job was like. My injury playing basketball has changed my life goal into becoming a Physical Therapist. Basketball is the reason I had this injury, and my injury is the only reason my eyes were opened into looking at different career paths. This made me understand that although people have an idea of how they want their life to play out, the reality is that things can unexpectedly change at the blink of an eye. My plans of playing college basketball changed. However, the importance is recognizing that where one door closes, another door opens.
I have sacrificed and devoted my teenage years to practicing basketball since I thought it would fulfill my dream of playing in college. All the hard work I put in taught me the values of leadership and discipline, but most importantly it has helped taken me through a time when I felt lost. The adversity of suffering a tear to my ACL helped me understand that some things are out of your control, so when life takes you down an unexpected road, look for the bright side and you may just find what you have been looking for all along.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,799 
4780 Adam, I would not use the current opening presentation that you have because it has an opposite effect on your essay. If you are trying to build up the idea that you love the game and that this is your lifelong passion, you should not be tearing into your dad in such a negative manner since he introduced you to the game and the rudiments of playing it. I know from your previous essays that you have some issues with your father. You have presented these issues a few times in a significant manner in your essays. Don't keep dwelling on it. The reviewers do not take kindly to constantly repeated information. Most especially when it is about personal, family issues. That is not the point of the essay and should be kept at bay when not important to the presentation. You can simply indicate that you started playing the game when you were 4 and your father was your first coach, your first cheerleader, and your inspiration to play, or, enjoy the game.
Quit bad mouthing the man in your essays. It appears that you do not respect your father and do not appreciate what he was doing for you just because he was tough on you and he was trying to instill character and discipline into you and your brother. Something he did in a manner that you did not appreciate. The reviewer will not appreciate your potential as a student either because of those reasons. If you can constantly refer to your father in a bad light, what will you do if a professor gets tough on you in class? No, I do not think that introduction will be the kind that will impress the reviewer. It might make him think twice about your application though. Aside from that part of your essay being negative, the rest accurately represents your character.
You also need to pull back on the reference to your chosen major and how you made that decision because that deviates from the background story about basketball. The story about how you developed an inclination for physical therapy should be introduced in your personal statement or open topic essay instead. In this essay you need to pick from one of two discussions instead, either you discuss the relationship with your father or, you discuss your recovery from the injury without referring to it as the reason that you chose this major. Rather, you may present it as the event that showed you how strong your determination to get back on the court was. I assume that you did continue playing after 8 months right? If your game was better than ever, then close the essay on that presentation instead.
