You could be harsh, dont worry i can take...perfer it actually!thankyouu
-B) The Roman philosopher Seneca, writing in the first century, wrote a set of letters of advice to a young friend. In the 23rd letter he wrote, "Make this your business: learn how to feel joy...true joy, believe me, is a serious thing." Write a short response to these thoughts, indicating if you wish, the extent to which you may have come to realize that Seneca was right.
Running my first 400 meter race and looking at the finish line so close. My strides begin to widen knowing the end is near as I hear aching feet pounce on the ground and my legs are so heavy, my stomach is cramping, my arms wanting to collapse and lay by my side and I'm struggling to breathe, feeling my heart beat faster. But only 10 long meters left and I cannot slow down as I hear the encouraging cheers from the stands, coaches, friends, family. I can distinguish almost every voice. And I am so tired. Strength from those supporting me filled my body with joy, knowing that I have support and that I am capable. I hear my little brother yelling my name and a smile cannot help but to run across my face as I pass the finish line.
One of our priorities on Earth is to acquire the true feeling of joy. With joy we are able to accomplish more than we would have thought possible for ourselves. When Seneca gave the advice to a friend stating: "Make this your business: learn how to feel joy...true joy, believe me, is a serious thing" I cannot agree more with such a motivating statement. While considering the extent to which Seneca is correct about joy, I have convinced myself further that joy is our destiny. I have realized the importance of joy and where it has lead me. His advice is inspiring, for joy is what gives one strength. In the midst of trials we have joy within to help us persevere.
Seneca believes joy to be such a serious thing because, joy is what gives us the power to conquer. I think of a quote from the Bible which states, " The joy of the Lord is your strength."
The lord is responsible for our joyous experiences, we must use these experiences to lift us up and help us fulfil. When I think of joy, I begin to smile as a reminisce on moments in my life where I felt the most happy. I think of the first words I herd my timid brother sing on a stage in front of his entire school. This gives me bravery to continue to be who I am. Winning my first tennis match after a long loosing streak,tough me never to give up. Being promoted to first trumpet, taught me if I work hard enough I will succeed. Observing my sisters art work shows me there is a bright side to any situation. Receiving my first A in AP English, gave me confidence and to never to doubt myself. Dancing with my Mother taught me there is always a reason to smile. These are all things that inspire me and in times where I have felt my lowest, I can turn to these joyous accounts knowing that there are more to come if I continue to strive. Experiencing joy has lead to my strength.
You do not really connect the essay topic with your first paragraph. It does not seem to have any relevance. In your second paragraph you should talk about an experience (probably from your first paragraph) and how you realized joy was a very important aspect. Your essay does not convey the essay prompt at all. Try to keep the anecdotes to at most 3 where you can thoughtfully elaborate on them. How does your brother singing give you bravery? That part does not connect well. Also you do not necessarily need to quote the whole quote from the prompt, seems kind of redundant. With the Bible quote you might say "when I feel there is nothing left, I remember the bible quote (insert quote) and the joyous feeling overwhelms me." Overall, your four paragraphs do not connect with each other. Try connecting the short paragraph to your last one. And finally, try having at least one anecdote and coming to a realization of joy, how that emotion comes about, or even if you feel that emotion is real. Good luck.
sorry...here is the prompt
B) The Roman philosopher Seneca, writing in the first century, wrote a set of letters of advice to a young friend. In the 23rd letter he wrote, "Make this your business: learn how to feel joy...true joy, believe me, is a serious thing." Write a short response to these thoughts, indicating if you wish, the extent to which you may have come to realize that Seneca was right.
