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'rural haven developed' - University of Michigan Supplement Essay Draft


reilly1331 1 / -  
Aug 16, 2012   #1
Everyone belongs to different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, ideology, race, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong and describe that community and your place within it (approx 250 words)

In a village of merely 500 people and only 10 children within biking distance, creativity was not an option, but a lifestyle. Us Boyne Falls nestlings, ranging from velcro shoe models to All-State athletes, always uncovered our own fun. Slowly drowning in a sea of billboards, Boyne Falls was undergoing the shift from a local skiing community to the luxury resort district of Boyne Mountain. Included in the developing metropolis was Michigan's largest water park, Avalanche Bay. This park was unaffordable for most families in the area, instantly becoming the animosity of every parent in town. The ongoing recession, a blessing in disguise, led me to the greatest discovery in village history; the piping system. Beneath Boyne Falls ran a series of aquatic drainage pipes, often the hub for "double dog dares" due to their nostalgic darkness, numbing water, and eerie echoes. Craving a new pastime, I mustered up the courage to dive the very first penguin slide down the pipe's mouth, revolutionizing a neighborhood summer. That afternoon in June 2009, this piping chamber became more than a frostbite worthy cove, but a water park in itself. As my rural haven developed into a pricey paradise, I could always concoct a makeshift alternative to anything the resort offered. I never aspired to reject the resort, but to keep the local spirit alive for youngsters with far more summers ahead. Being a Boyne Falls kid is about being able to turn rocks into diamonds, and I was armed to lead the metamorphoses.

EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Aug 20, 2012   #2
We Boyne Falls nestlings, ranging from velcro shoe models to All-State athletes, always uncovered our own fun.

This park was unaffordable for most families in the area, instantly becoming the animosity of every parent in town.---This is good writing! I like how you worded it.

I really like your essay! You're an excellent writer, descriptive and amusing. You can tell by the essay, that you're intelligent and well spoken. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)
ellecc 4 / 12  
Aug 23, 2012   #3
I really like your essay!!
I think it's great to write your village as your community. It's great


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