My essay for UF
Any corrections, comments and suggestions are appreciated!!!
Thank you so much!!
500 WORDS: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Four days, 120 students and an inseparable bond. As a member of the Interact club of West Orange High School, I was selected by our sponsor to attend the annual Rotary Youth Leadership Awards, also known as RYLA. RYLA is a four day camp that includes sport activities but mostly it included leadership and team building workshops. One activity stood out to me like a red sock in a load of whites. I walked into the room not knowing what to expect. I came out with an entirely different perspective of life.
This group activity was called "The Walk of Courage." Our group leader started asking people questions such as "What are some typical stereotypes that people usually label you with?" and "How do you feel when they ask you those stereotypical questions?" It started with male athletes, then female athletes and went all the way to race and ethnicity; then it got as serious as any group talk could get. When asked, "How many of you live in a non-typical American family?" just about all the hands went up. I heard everything from "A family member died from cancer" to "My sister and I were born with birth defects because my mom loved drugs more than us."
After a few people started confessing their situations, I took a good look around. The happy expressions flew out of the room, and sympathetic tears flew right in. I then realized, I was no longer alone. While we were all from different backgrounds and lifestyles, we all came together, to be there for each other. I have never shed so many tears for strangers. Nor have I ever seen so many strangers cry in front of each other. Here we were, telling strangers things we would never even tell our best friends.
Everyone walks around with smiling faces but is that really the reality? Everyone is suffering in his or her own way. Everyone has his or her problems, but some are just better at hiding it than others. But here, at this moment, everyone broke down their walls, took off their masks, and revealed the side that they would never show. We all had our own issues, but, as a group, we cried together, we were there for each other, and we helped each other in ways that didn't seem possible for a group of strangers. This was unity in diversity. My experience at RYLA made me feel like I got special glasses that allow me to see past what I couldn't before. My perspective of the world has changed. I used to only see the fake expressions but now, I strive to see past the smile and into the heart.
College will be a new experience for me in aspects of being independent and leaving home. But I will leave home for UF with an open mind, open heart, and open arms. Because RYLA has taught me that while we might be strangers, we are not so different after all.
My essay for UF
Any corrections, comments and suggestions are appreciated!!!
Thank you so much!!
500 WORDS: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
Four days [of what?] , 120 students, and an inseparable bond. As a member of the Interact club of West Orange High School, I was selected by our sponsor to attend the annual Rotary Youth Leadership Awards, also known as RYLA. RYLA is a four day camp that includes sport activities, but mostly it consisted ofincluded leadership and team building workshops. One activity stood out to me, like a red sock in a load of whites. I walked into the a room not knowing what to expect. I came out with an entirely different perspective of life.
This group activity was called "The Walk of Courage." Our group leader started asking people questions such as "What are some typical stereotypes that people usually label you with?" and "How do you feel when they ask you those stereotypical questions?" It started with male athletes, then female athletes and went all the way to race and ethnicity; then it got as serious as any group talk could get. When we were asked, "How many of you live in a non-typical American family?" just about all the hands went up. I heard everything from "A family member died from cancer" to "My sister and I were born with birth defects because my mom loved drugs more than us."
After a few people started confessing their situations, I took a good look around. The happy expressions flew out of the room, and sympathetic tears flew right in. I then realized,that I was no longer alone. While we were all from different backgrounds and lifestyles, we all came together, to be there for each other. I have never shed so many tears in front offor strangers before. Nor have I ever seen so many strangers cry in front of each other. Here we were, telling strangers things that we would never even tell our best friends.
Everyone walks around with smiling faces, but is that really the reality? Everyone is suffering in his or her own way. Everyone has his or her problems, but some are just better at hiding it than others. But here, at this moment, everyone broke down their walls, took off their masks, and revealed the side that they would never show [you are using present tense when you were you past tense] . We all had our own issues, but, as a group, we cried together, we were there for each other, and we helped each other in ways that didn't did not seem possible for a group of strangers. This was unity in diversity. My experience at RYLA made me feel like I got have special glasses that allow me to see past what I couldn't could not see before. My perspective of the world has changed. I used to only see the fake expressions but now, I strive to see past the smile and into the heart.
College will be a new experience for me in aspects of being independent and leaving home. But I will leave home for UF with an open mind, open heart, and open arms. [We usually do not begin sentences with because] Because RYLA has taught me that while we might be strangers, we are not so different after all.
