I'm gonna send this to university of washington, so it's really urgent!
I live in China.
This is my personal statement, thanks for helping me
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" Do mi so mi do."
I sang with the piano, not missing one note.
"She has extraordinary music memory and perfect pitch. She will discover her groove in piano." The piano teacher said to my mother.
Excellent memory brought me praise and applause. Yet as I grew up, it brought about unhappiness.
I remember how my classmates poke fun at my snaggletooth, because of which I was afraid to speak in public. I remembered the D my Chinese teacher gave me when I wrote a composition complaining about the rules of Merit Student Election. " You could not write like this." said my teacher. I remembered the knitted brows wore on the counselor's face when she saw me decorating my school uniforms and drawing ironic cartoon for the rigid education. My junior years were blue with unpleasant memories haunted.
All these happened before I met with Lin, a retarded girl in a special school, Peiyu School.
With her worn-out jacket and ill-fitting pants, Lin greeted me with a shy blush. I tried to take her hand, but she just escaped and hid her hand at the back. Spotting the scarlet scar on her left hand, I kept our conversation away from anything too personal.
Fetching out my guitar, I played Fahrenheit's song A Thousand Happiness. Lin pointed at her T-shirt and said, "Fahrenheit, ma favorite. Big sister gimme!" Yet she was totally out of tune. So I taught her to sing. Once, twice, every time I came to Peiyu, I strived to correct her tone, yet she just kept out of the right pitch. In front of me Lin murmured out the song in fragment, eyes twinkled and head held high. Suddenly did I realize there was no need to correct her tune anymore.
It was me who should be corrected.
Lin forgot lyrics and tunes, but she remembered the joy of singing. She forgot how she left that scar on her hand, but she remembered the volunteer sister who gave her that T-shirt with the logo of Fahrenheit. Whereas swamped in resentment, I blinded to good aspects in life. Lin accepted my correctness not as criticism, so she could always sing with a cheerful heart.
I found lots of people, like me, frustrated by dissidents. They were too concerned with what the majority say. They could not stand for their own, since they were afraid of what others might think of them. Thus unhappiness haunted. Now I knew better. It was fine to be different. I took those dissidents as special instructors in my life. Just because of their existence, acting as a voice opposite to mine, I was able to find my way out.
I had snaggletooth, but I knew I could speak impressively in public. So I felt confident to make public speech.
Standing on the podium, I depicted the story between Lin and me to audience. I told them, when we forgot to remember different ideas as speckles, we could treat them like mirrors, showing us other perspectives from varying angles.
i cried after reading this, your essay is beautiful. I am asian like you. We Asians think differenly, understand that Americans and others don't think like we do. They may not feel what we do. To me, your essay is perfect, just if you try to connect your paragraphs it'll be awesome. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to read your essay.
.I can't say i cried after reading this, but it is a good essay.
"Whereas swamped in resentment, I blinded to good aspects in life. Lin accepted my correctness not as criticism, so she could always sing with a cheerful heart."
edit to: >
I, however, was swamped with resentment, and blind to the good aspects of life. Lin accepted my corrections as not criticism, and could always sing with a cheerful heart.
I like the poetic form of this essay. It shows a lot of personal progress, a lot of imagery in showing what you were able to achieve and where you have been without explicitly stating the events.
i cried after reading this, your essay is beautiful. I am asian like you. We Asians think differenly, understand that Americans and others don't think like we do. They may not feel what we do. To me, your essay is perfect, just if you try to connect your paragraphs it'll be awesome. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to read your essay.
thank you for saying this! I feel confident about my essay after reading your reply. I'll proofread it to make it better :-)
