Please correct any bad grammar, misspellings, etc, harsh criticism welcome!!!
Also, is this good enough for UC? I want to really get into Davis (or San Diego or Irvine). Is this a bad subject??? I really dont know what else I could have written.
Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
She texted me one early morning and told me she didn't know what to do. She seemed desperate and scared. I told her that I would help her, not only because she was my friend, but because I had been accustomed to feelings similar to hers. She was afraid and so was I, but I knew I could not simply "let things be."
My friend, Ariel, wanted to commit suicide. She came to me, despite the fact that we were not the best of friends or anything, to find some kind of help. Being only a sophomore and, what I thought was young, I was scared and nervous. I was scared and nervous mostly for myself, however selfish that sounds. True, I did not want to lose her, but as we all know, the topic of suicide and death is very unpleasant and even awkward for most of us. I had to think fast as to what to do. Even though it seems like the obvious answer, to call parents right away, I still had hesitated. It was nerve-wrecking for me too, as I had dealt with this kind of pain before. I knew I had to do something.
Ariel had been attending a small Catholic school that I had previously attended. She was an 8th grader. I remembered that I had saved the school's office number on my phone. I called the office administrator and told her it was an emergency and that I be put through to the principal. The principal soon thereafter answered and my heartbeat raced with adrenaline due to anxiety. I told the principal the situation and that he needed to get her sufficient help. The principal was kind enough to take matters seriously.
To this day she still thanks me for the help I gave her. I never really told anyone this story until now and looking back, I am proud of what I did. I could have just let it go and not done anything. I could have just told her that "Everything would be alright," and to "just calm down." But I knew I couldn't just do that. Sometimes words only go so far. Sometimes you need more than that to get through to someone.
This experience gave me insight on my future by confirming my ambitions. I truly enjoy the satisfaction of changing the lives of others through support and care. I believe that it is not only good for the soul, but for the mind. This incident might seem sad, but in actuality it is beautiful. It has shaped my state of mind. It has matured me.
She texted me one early morning and told me she didn't know what to do. She seemed desperate and scared. I told her that I would help her, not only because she was my friend, but because I had been accustomed to feelings similar to hers. She was afraid and so was I, but I knew I could not simply "let things be."
------------ Very impressive : )despite the fact that we were not the best of friends or anything and had never shared secrets before
--------- don't leave the reader in an ambiguous status. Tell the reasons.I was scared and nervous mostly for myself, however selfish that sounds.
... I love this sentence : )Even though it seems like the obvious answer is to call parents right away, I still had hesitated. It was nerve-wrecking for me too, as I had dealt with this kind of pain before.
The principal soon thereafter answeredcame on line and my heartbeat raced with adrenaline due to anxiety.
------- hey....you are bringing adrenaline rush in me too :DThis experience gave meinsight on my future by confirming my ambitions.
------- insight or inspiration ????? just a thought :D
Well presented : ) .... Only gap I saw is that you tell them that she felt suicidal, but no indication to the reason for that. If you do not wish to talk about it, think of covering up this gap smartly :D
Anyway, GOOD JOB!