Saving lives of people; Johns Hopkins Supplement/ Why choose?

Thanks for all the help! Anything is appreciated

1. Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

I have decided to enter Johns Hopkins with an undeclared major.
Beginning at a young age, my mind has been set on saving the world as a doctor. Every time my mother brought me to work at the Boston Children's Hospital, I would be in awe of the dynamic, fast-paced and magical world before my eyes. I wanted to be a magician of saving lives by providing the world with vital medical aide.

However, in my senior year of high school, I have been taking a variety of courses in all different fields. Psychology intrigues me; I would love to learn more about how and why we do the things we do. The class allows me to reflect on society and more regarding the power of the brain. I have rediscovered my love for math (which was lost somewhere in the quest of learning Algebra 2). Its logic makes everything so clear to me; the connections that can be made with a multitude of concepts fascinate me.

Because I have been so interested in such a variety of subjects, there must be realms that I have not had the opportunity to learn of yet. I hope that a liberal arts education at Johns Hopkins will lead me to the discovery of an unseen passion so that I will be an operative citizen of our society. By choosing one major, I would be doing myself an injustice by ignoring the undiscovered sides to myself.

Your essay looks good so far. However, aside from the one comment about Algebra 2, the overall piece sounds rather dry and unattached. I would recommend that you elaborate on the second paragraph a bit and make the essay sound a bit more colourful, if that makes sense. I would guess that nearly every other applicant who will apply undeclared will write something along the same lines as you have; what makes accepting you a better idea? Hope that helped a bit.

I have written on a similar prompt for Johns, but I am applying for biology so it would be lovely if you could spare a minute to review mine!

Good job and good luck!