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"Who can say where the road goes, where the day goes, only time"; Hardship/Obstacle


denishzaki 2 / 5 1  
Mar 9, 2014   #1
Have you experienced a hardship or obstacle in your life that has affected your academic performance or is there any other information that you would like our admissions staff to know as part of your application?

"Who can say where the road goes, where the day goes, only time." The lyrics buzz in my ears as I listen to Enya's song "Only time".

Time, only, had told the confused and uncertain sixteen years old me three years ago, what I wanted to do, what my passion was and where I would be. Three years ago, I had completed my O level examination, in Bangladesh, and was struggling to not indulge myself in self-pity and from getting lost in the mayhem of the society because of our financial breakdown.

Six months before taking my O Level examination, my father, an economist, had become unemployed. This came to us as a shock and distressed us. We were a family of six. How were our school bills to be paid? How were we going to pay our house bills? How were we going to survive? Such thoughts hunted the teenage me, but my mother, a general practitioner, who used to only do day shift duties stepped forward and started working day and night to earn more money.

Bangladesh is a poor and developing country where a general practitioner, like my mother's income is very low compared to other countries. However, it was enough to lead an almost normal life. Except that my two younger siblings had to be taken out of school and homeschooled by my father, we had to stop doing things we loved like travelling and also we had to become more conscious and wise of where we spent our money.

This continued for a year and a half until finally a break came. My physician mother was offered a well-paid job in Oman, it not only provided us financial stability but also gave us a chance to escape from the chaos of Bangladesh. Peace and tranquility of mind overwhelmed us but it also came with some drawbacks, because the city where we lived in had no UK educational system based schools therefore I had to discontinue my A Level studies.

After nine months of staying in Oman, I went back to Bangladesh and stayed there for six months of vacation and occasionally did charity works. I discovered my true passion there that is volunteering to help the less fortunate, it filled my heart with an indescribable happiness. I came back to Oman determined to apply for public health major.

"Who knows? Only time." As the song comes to a pause I realize time and patience are the only two elements that can answer many of life's questions.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Mar 9, 2014   #2
"Who can say where the road goes, where the day goes, only time." The lyrics buzz in my ears as I listen to Enya's song "Only time".

I like this , it gives a good start to your essay :)

Time, only, had told the confused and uncertain sixteen years old me three years ago, what I wanted to do, what my passion was and where I would be.

... I would like to make a few suggestions on punctuation and sentence structure;
I being a confused and uncertain sixteen year old, it was time that found me answers for what I wanted to do, what my real passions and where I would be
kuan - / 1 1  
Mar 9, 2014   #3
Very good, but I feel that you didn't stress the hardships enough. I understand this might be just the beginning, but I recommend focusing more on the pain of your struggles and the emotional agony that you experienced. Then expound on the triumphant battle you fought within yourself to overcome these obstacles and become the best you. Its good, but it doesnt make people feel a sympathetic connection. This will help the admissions staff see that your someone that should be accepted into their college/university.

Good Luck!
- Kuan
OP denishzaki 2 / 5 1  
Mar 10, 2014   #4
Thank you Pahan and Kuan. Appreciate it. :) :D


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