Hello. I am currently trying to write one of the supplements for the University of Virginia and I could use a bit of help rewording it and adding more vocabulary. Please be honest and thank you so much in advance. The supplement question is: What is your favorite word and why? I chose the word "no." I know it can be a bit cliche to use this which is why I need a little help to make it more interesting and put in a twist.
Here it is:
No. The word no at first glance seems negative, but those two letters hold the key to liberation and strength. Growing up, like many others, I was a people pleaser. I always said "yes" to favors that people asked of me in fear that an answer of no would put in me in a bad light. It was then that I started to take on more than I could handle. I realized that saying yes to everyone else left no room to say yes to myself.
This word has guided me in all aspects of life from friendships to even the classroom. I have said no to maintaining unhealthy friendships. I have disagreed in class debates and voiced my own opinions. Saying no has given me the power to become my own person. Many of 21st century reforms such as LGBT movements and animal rights movements began with people saying no to the majority. Although so simple, the word no holds great weight. Saying yes can be easy but saying no shows true individuality and courage, some of which are characteristics I admire most.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15334 Jung, here is my version of your essay for your consideration. I hope it helps.
Most people view the word "No" on the negative side. For others though, the same word signifies a sense of liberation and strength. I was a people pleaser when I was growing up. So my most used word at the time was "Yes". Mostly because I did not want to say no and earn the ire of the person I was speaking to. It was because I often said "Yes" that I ended up in tight situations, oftentimes finding myself in situations I could barely handle. That was when I came to realize that I did not have to keep saying "Yes."
So I began to say "No" to certain things in my life. From bad friendships to classroom assignments, the word "No" offered me the guidance that I needed to succeed in life. I learned how to express my opinion even if it is contradictory to others. It is the word that liberated me from a life of fear and weakness. Saying "Yes" is the default response to most questions. It shows a fear of disappointing people and a weakness of character. In the end, I realized that saying "No" is what really shows individuality and courage in a person.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it:)
Separating the last two sentences would make your ending stronger.
"Saying yes can be easy. Saying no shows more individuality and courage, the two characteristics I most admire."
This is my revised edit...please help me to make any changes.
Most people associate the word "no" with a negative connotation. For me, the same word denotes a sense of liberation and mental fortitude. I was a people pleaser growing up. Thus, my most used word was "yes". Saying "yes" was my way of placating others instead of disappointing them. I said "yes" so much that I often found myself in tight, overwhelming situations. My classmates always wanted to do group study sessions. I personally worked better alone but regretfully agreed. I found, however, that participating in these groups harmed me more than they benefited me. I realized that saying "yes" to everyone else left no room to say "yes" to myself.
Although so simple, consisting of only two letters, the word holds great weight. It takes valor to take a step back and prioritize oneself. Saying "no" has become the greatest gift I can possibly give to myself.
So, I began to say "no" to certain things in my life. From bad friendships to classroom assignments, the word "no" gave me the power to become my own person. I learned how to express my opinion, even when it is contradictory to others. Saying "yes" is easy. Saying "no" shows individuality and courage, the two characteristics I most admire.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15334 There are just some simple revisions to be applied to the essay at this point. It really came out to be a piece of excellent work on your part. Here are the corrections that I suggest you make to the essay.
...placating others instead of disappointing ANGERING them...
FOR EXAMPLE, My classmates... better alone but regretfully BEGRUDGINGLY agreed. ..
these groups SESSIONS harmed me more than they IT benefited me...
... else left ME UNCOMFORTABLE AND WITHOUT no room to say "yes" to myself.
Although THE WORD IS so simple, consisting of only ...
Saying "no" has become IS the greatest gift I can COULD possibly give to myself.
.... even when it is contradictory to others IT CONTRADICTS OTHER OPINIONS...
... the two characteristics I most admire IN A PERSON.