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'scholarly warriors' - Stanford - Intellectual vitality


Delxysic 1 / 3  
Oct 15, 2012   #1
Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

There were hardly any dull minds in Los Angles during the summer of 2011. Hundreds of high schools students from across the States and around the world congregated onto the campus of UCLA for the National Youth Leadership Forum on medicine; for me, it was an impressive display of talent and zeal for learning from the country's brightest young intellects that left an unforgettable impression.

Perhaps it was the prospect of young minds searching for answers to difficult questions that caught on to me, but as I meandered through the grounds of the university to the lecture hall, gazing in wonderment at the high-tech laboratories and state of the art equipment along the way, a sudden feeling of belonging struck me. The amount of intellectual ability that I was surrounded by was incredibly humbling, but the realization that I was a part of a community that shared a great passion for knowledge and had an eagerness to dedicate hundreds of hours to research our many inquiries was exhilarating. Even as the individual details of stories told begin to fade with time, the mark of each of my peers' personalities on me lingers still. For nearly two weeks, this group of nonconformists, a legion of scholarly warriors, banded together to overcome the a modern day epidemic of contentment and complacency in one's work; for 12 days, we lived side by side, cooperating and learning-from ourselves and one another. Although I may never again get the chance to discuss neural pathways with an Alaska girl I met or talk about new ways to administer medications with a boy from Italy, I am genuinely excited about our future.

I will be more than happy to help you essay out if you help mine!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Nov 1, 2012   #2
Hundreds of high schools students from across the s tates and around the world congregated onto the campus of UCLA for the National Youth Leadership Forum on medicine; for me, it was an impressive display of talent and zeal, for learning from the country's brightest young intellects that left an unforgettable impression.

Perhaps it was the prospect of young minds searching for answers to difficult questions that caught on to me, but as I meandered...

For nearly two weeks, this group of nonconformists, a legion of scholarly warriors, banded together to overcome the a modern day epidemic...

Although I may never again get the chance to discuss neural pathways with an Alaskan girl I met, or talk about new ways to administer medications with a boy from Italy, I am genuinely excited about our future.

:)
Phoebe Africa 3 / 36 6  
Nov 3, 2012   #3
Lovely essay!

1. I think you should say just a little more about this intriguing community of intellects and most importantly how you held your worth among America's finest.

2. The fact that you were part of this program beautifully depicts your curiosity (as you wouldn't be there if you didn't care) however, I think you can portray more enthusiasm.

3. "I am genuinely..." I think you should try for a more thought provoking conclusion or something more memorable.

4. Depending on the word limit, I think you can discuss one or two more interesting events that took place while you were at UCLA...perhaps a heated debate that you got into with another person from some random part of this world?

I must admit,your essay is amazing and there is just about nothing wrong with it. I feel that your voice really comes through well and its not like you attempting to adopt a tone you convinced that they would be impressed by.

Though I believe you can definitely sound more excited/passionate in your last sentences.

Is there any other academic area that interests you? Be
cause if you could mention a discussion that you had in those 12 weeks about Ken Follett's brilliance or why you think maths is helpful for any career, then you can show that,although you have your one main passionate, your academic curiosity is not restricted to that one thing (because after all they want to know if you would be able to hold a intellectual conversation with a literature major or anyone outside of your major)

Nonetheless,it is an excellent essay,with great structure.

please read my one,I really need help,so feel free to tear it apart!


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