SCHOLARSHIP PERSONAL STATEMENT // GKS 2022 Undergraduate Architecture

I really appreciate your feedback and opinion on my personal statement.

PERSONAL STATEMENT
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

Going to college and studying abroad has been my goal since I chose to become an architect. I love art as much as my father. I was introduced to various things about art from a young age, especially drawing and painting. I also like to take pictures of several things, especially aesthetic buildings and human interests.

I chose to become an architect after I learned about graphic design and a few things in making a building perspective during school. I finally realized and saw how important development is in modern times. With the rapid growth now, an architect's primary responsibility is to provide design solutions to create and improve a better living environment. In Indonesia, architects have an essential role in helping infrastructure development. However, Indonesia is located on the Pacific Ring of Fire, making Indonesia vulnerable to natural disasters. It has become a challenge for me to learn more about architecture. If the infrastructure in Indonesia is increasingly developed, it can well establish the possibility of cooperation between countries in investing. I think Inje University has a tight curriculum that is remarkable to encourage and foster creativity and responsibility in architects. At this time, I believe GKS can allow me to learn to explore the field I chose to achieve my goal to help provide creative design in improving better development, especially in infrastructure in Indonesia.

I was born in a simple family, and I am the second child of two siblings. My father works as a house guard in someone else's villa, while my mother works in a simple restaurant as a chef, but she has been unemployed since the Covid 19 pandemics. Since I was born, we don't have a private house because of our economic background, so we live in a house belonging to my mother's cousin. I also have an older brother who works as a laborer and a younger sister who is still in elementary school. It has also become one of my motivations to be successful as an architect. I want to help my family's economy in the future.

My educational background started when I attended elementary school. At first, it was a little bit hard because many of my friends had previously attended kindergarten, but I didn't. I started everything like writing, reading, and arithmetic since I was in elementary school. My parent always trains me so I can do it well. I have also participated in the elementary school choir competition, but our group has not succeeded. It's a little disappointing, but since I'm an active child, it helps me learn and try things both at school and in church. The significant experience that I ever had was In junior high school. I made the most effective decision I ever made. I ask my parent to put me in a boarding school, which means I must study far away from home. Like my brother, who used to go to school boarding, I hope to make many friends here. Without realizing it, that can help me live more independently at a very young age. In junior high school, I once participated in a badminton competition representing my school. However, I failed in the 3rd phase. I started looking for new things that I wanted to learn from the failure, such as traditional music. I have even appeared at events attended by several Indonesian ministers.

After graduating from junior high school, I decided to continue my education at a vocational high school. I chose Multimedia as my major. In the Multimedia major, I learned many things, such as Graphic Design, Videography, Photography, 2D, 3D, Computer Systems, etc. I also participated in several activities, such as school scouting organizations and collaborative music communities. School scouting organizations made me learn many things about leadership, independence, and responsibility. I have participated in activities such as scouting competitions and even taught my juniors about scouting. In the collaborative music community, I chose to join a traditional music team like Angklung. I have also won 1st place in the SEAMEO (Southeast Asian Ministers of Education Organization) Angklung contest.

I am a person who loves to learn new things in new environments, new people, and new traditions. Therefore, after graduating, I tried to learn English in an English village located in a different province and so far from where I live. I lived there for six months. In addition to learning English, I also learned to live independently in a new society, such as attitudes that must be maintained, associations, and a frugal lifestyle.

Because I graduated from a vocational school who was ready to work, after returning from the English village, I tried to work first while developing my abilities and gaining experience. For one year, I worked for an international freight forwarder company. I work in a team working on export documents. There are so many experiences and lessons that can be learned. Moreover, it is new for me, which is certainly not the same as my major. After completing the work contract, I applied as an intern to be employed in Japan. My target is to learn new things, new cultures, and of course, increase work experience. I studied Japanese for about six months, but I decided to leave after the institution turned out to be problematic. After that, I worked in an elementary school as an administrator and was part of its IT team.

Working for three years did not make me forget my goal to become an architect. I'm looking for scholarships, and honestly, I think abroad is the best choice to study in terms of new technology and culture. I tried to register for GKS last year but failed in the early stages. One day, I felt like, could I compete among more competent people? Could I adapt to them? How could I make my parents proud? Even when I knew that studying in Korea was not easy. Then I finally heard a quote from someone who said, "HARD WORK beats TALENT when TALENT DOESN'T WORK HARD." It was the umpteenth time someone had proved that nothing is impossible if one is willing to work hard. That's why I'm preparing to start over again this year.

I chose Korea because, first, of course, I saw the excellent benefits that could be obtained through studying abroad. One of which is to build up good relations between students from different countries. Second, I believe that South Korea is the best student destination in terms of education, technology, and a good culture to develop one's character. I believe the manners and culture of discipline in South Korea are very good and help international students extend their character quality.

I got many lessons and responsibilities from all the experiences I had, and they were precious to me. I hope that my goals and strong determination can help me get into this GKS program. I wish we could meet each other, so you can see all of the potency that I have.

Why? Expand upon the motivations related to this idea.


Discuss this part as a seperate paragraph. Reference him as the influence and mentor in your life. This would bean effective highlight if presented properly.


There needs to be a reference to academic accomplishments here. Disregard any failures. The paragraph is already forgettable. Do not disqualify yourself with references to failures.


Perhaps rephrase this part? Boarding school ia percieved as a school for the rich, which you claim your family is not.


What is this ? Why is it a notable accomplishment?


Why do you think you failed?


But why Korea for Architecture college? What factors led to this decision? Specifically Korea's accomplishments in this field. Where is the motivational relationship?

Thank you for the helpful feedback, I will improve this essay
@Holt