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After-school activity - Role playing


owen92217 3 / -  
Dec 26, 2008   #1
Please use the space below to tell us about your preparation for college. Explain any inter-ruptions in your schooling, e.g. military service or employment. Please tell us bout your important time commitments other than academic work (for example, school organization, jobs, the arts, service, and athletics).

Role playing is what I enjoyed for my after school activity, which has shaped my character. I grew up a shy boy, my face easily turned red when I talked in front of people. However, things started to change when I joined the drama club on the advice of my friend and played the role of Aragon, the main character in 'The Lord Of The Rings'.

At first, I was really baffled since Aragon, an assertive and outgoing man who is full of confidence, courage and fighting spirit, was totally different from me. However I decided to challenge myself and determine to do the job well. I watched the movie for at least five times to learn the behaviors of Aragon and tried to imitate his mood. I tried to look at everything in the eyes of Aragon and imitated his manner and tone to approach 'Aragon'. Not long after, with the persistence of training, my successful performance of Aragon won me the Best Actor Award in the English Festival. I really gained a lot of confidence and I liked the Aragon whom I performed, active and courageous.

Gradually, I found myself changed little by little under the influence of Aragon. It seemed that there was an Aragon lived in my heart. I became a ambitions young adult who is not afraid of taking challenges. By acting the different roles of different personalities, I discovered defects of my characters and tried to be a more consummate person. The most valuable thing I found in the role playing is that I became a person whom I appreciate and I want to be.

This is my essay about an activity.. I expect that someone can help me with it to give some suggestions and corrections.

Thanks a lot
ahpahf723 4 / 5  
Dec 26, 2008   #2
there are some akward phrases but I really liked how you explained
your change through the activity.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 26, 2008   #3
However, things started to change when I joined the drama club on the advice of my friend, and played the role of Aragon, the main character in 'The Lord Of The Rings'.

However I decided to challenge myself and was determined to do the job well. I watched the movie at least five times to learn the behaviors of Aragon and tried to imitate his mood. I tried to look at everything through the eyes of Aragon and imitated his manner and tone to approach 'Aragon'. Not long after, with the persistence of training, my successful performance of Aragon won

I really gained a lot of confidence and I liked the Aragon whom I portrayed , active and courageous.

It seemed that there was an Aragon who lived in my heart.

I became a ambitious young adult who is not afraid of facing challenges.

The most valuable thing I found in role playing was that I became a person whom I appreciate and I want to be.

Aragon is awesome!!!

Good luck!

:)
EF_Constance - / 143  
Dec 27, 2008   #4
I would change the first sentence because it sounds like role-playing is your only after school activity. I would say something like: "Role playing is one hobby and interest that I enjoyed and pursued as an after school activity...". I would also consider including introductory and conclusion paragraphs. I would also add a small paragraph that details the outlines how the "Aragon inside you" transformed you as a whole (any situations that you were in, decisions you made, etc. that were not characteristic of the "pre-Aragon you"). Good luck!


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