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School, my father, junior college, a rounded school - Help with Essay Topic A for UT


ahibler86 1 / 2  
Jan 12, 2011   #1
if someone can please help me with the main ideas that I should write about, this would be great! the topic just says to write about things that could help me get accepted into the university. i have talked about:

Work
School
my father (since he graduated from UT)
how i started at a junior college to be able to save up money so i can go to UT
how UT has a well-rounded school

thank you to whoever helps me! i will post my rough draft when I am finished with it

katelynsimmet 2 / 4  
Jan 12, 2011   #2
those are good. do you have a minimum that you need to do? because putting too much into an essay can make it seem scattered and like you were just scrambling for filler topics.

for each topic: explain what it is, how its affected you, and how you think itll help you get into UT
colleges like to hear what, specifically, about their school interests you. what would you do there? how would they benefit from having you as a student? would you play a sport, apply for the honors program, run for student government?

if you elaborate on these topics, you should have a nice essay.
let me know if you want more help!
OP ahibler86 1 / 2  
Jan 12, 2011   #3
here is what I have so far written out:

The importance of education does not affect every soul on this beautiful planet. To some, it may be a joke, yet for others, they see education as an opportunity to improve their knowledge and be able to receive more income to provide for their family. To me, I see it as a goal in my young life to receive the absolute best education at the absolute best college to prepare me for the world that lies outside school.

To some, they might say that UT is not as good of a school as I believe. The reason I give to those people is to look at my father, Amzy Hibler. My dad graduated from UT with a Masters Degree which has well prepared him for his career and is now a CFO for Chevron. I would like to do the same as my dad did, graduate from UT to prepare me for not only my career, but also grasp every aspect in life that I possibly can and represent The University of Texas.

Before I have the opportunity to attend The University of Texas in Austin, I prepared myself for what lies next in my school life. To do this, I have been attending Wharton County Junior College so I can save funds to be able to attend UT. I have taken English I and II, Government I and II, Macroeconomics, College Algebra, Statistics, Math Analytics for Business, Physical Geology, Principles of Accounting, Sociology, and Business Computer Applications. For this spring semester (spring 2011), I am enrolled in Finite Math, Historical Geology, Principles of Accounting 2, and Fundamentals of Speech. I have taken some of these classes during my summer time off to be able to get ahead and be able to transfer with the most hours I can possibly accomplish.

During my college career, I have also been working with one of my best friend's parents to receive funds for college. His father is the inventor of The Ultimate Lock, which recently has been booming with sales. I help dealing with customers by replying to their questions they may have if they e-mail us or call in, help with inventory with orders and making the work environment a better place for everyone. I have learned that the work place is very difficult if everyone is not working as one. You may have people dealing with customers while others are sitting on their behinds not doing a thing but just playing Solitaire on their computer. I am internally grateful for the rewards I have earned with them and continue to look forward to happens next in their business.

im not sure if i should mention what classes I have already taken or not. thanks for the help!
katelynsimmet 2 / 4  
Jan 12, 2011   #4
"To some, they might say that UT is not as good of a school as I believe.The reason I give to those people is to look atmy father, Amzy Hibler. My dad graduated from UT with a Masters Degree which has well prepared him for his career and is now a CFO for Chevron. I would like to do the same as my dad did, graduate from UT [as my dad did.] to [I believe UT will] prepare me for not only my career, but [it will] also [help me grow as a person] grasp every aspect in life that I possibly can. [I would love to go out into the world] and represent The University of Texas."

Doesn't really sound right. Try "I would like to shed some light on those who don't believe the University of Texas is a fantastic school."

"My father, Amzy Hibler, graduated from UT with a Master's Degree in [ ]. The education he received from UT prepared him well for....Chevron" Spell out CFO.

I don't think you need to list your classes, they can see those on your transcript. Tell them how classes at junior college as affected your education and how you've grown as a person.
OP ahibler86 1 / 2  
Jan 18, 2011   #5
ok, thank you very much!


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