Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
The world I come from. This constitutes anything and everything around me that has been apart of my life and influenced me in any way. Without these things I could potentially be a completely different person. This consequence caused me to take at look at my environment and how important it is to who I am. Doing so has given me have a much greater appreciation for everything I have in my world. One of the biggest parts of my world include school, which is about to expand. With the onset of college just around the corner, my life is about to revolve around school even more than in previous years. Also, the most important part of my world, my parents. My parents are the ones who created this world for me and shaped it in the most beneficial manner possible.
Let's begin with school and how it has become one of the most significant things shaping my world. Ever since I was in preschool, school has been revealing to me the wonders of learning and what can be done when you dedicate yourself to it. While many people come to dislike school, I have grown somewhat fond of it. Granted, breaks are always nice, but a few weeks into summer I begin to miss going to school and learning new things. Along with learning in the classroom, school has also helped me to discover where my future lies: in the math and science fields, two subjects that I look forward to every day. Take these two subjects, add in a little hands on world-improvement, and voila, you have my take on engineering, my expected major. Through my next four years of school, I hope to pinpoint which specific discipline of engineering I want to get into for the rest of my life.
While school has inspired me to become an engineer, it is my parents who gave me the drive and the desire to succeed at whatever I set my mind to. Ever since I was a little kid my parents have been pushing me to try my best in school and to do my best to succeed. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be an astronaut, and my parents supported that and continued to encourage me to be my best. In middle school, I had my heart set on being a rocket scientist, and my parents continued with the support. Finally, in high school I decided on being an engineer, although rocket scientist isn't out of the question, and my parents continued to push me to be the best that I can be. I don't think I would be where I am today if it weren't for my parents constantly pushing me to reach for the stars and to always do my best. They know what I am capable of and won't accept anything but my very best
Throughout my life, I have had a lot of people and things influence me, but none more than my parents and school. My parents' constant encouragement and belief in me is what made me continually strive to be my best and succeed. School taught me about everything there is in this world and everything available to me. Through these two things, along with others, I have seen just a glimpse of what I can do with my life. As life goes on, I hope to uncover more of what I can do for myself, for the world, and for someone else's "world".
Please help!!! I am a math and science guy, not an English guy. It felt a little choppy to me, any and all suggestions are welcome!
I'm in the same boat! Its all about science!
I like your ideas and foundation of the essay, how school and parents are your world and how they motivate you to become and engineer.
My biggest criticism is your sentences can be wordy or awkward, which causes the paragraphs not to flow.
For example, your first sentence
"The world I come from. This constitutes anything and everything around me that has been apart of my life and influenced me in any way."
i would reword it to--
My world has been influenced by the places and people, that have surrounded me since i was little"
It can be reworded to anything just pick key words that you think are important, like in this sentence constitutes, influenced, been apart around.
This will help if you find your essay too long too!
hope this helps :)
