Hello,
this is my essay that i have written to turn in along with my Northwestern University Supplement. please take time to read through it and offer and suggestions/comment/revisions that you see as you read. thanks in advance!
Northwestern Statement (required)
What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
Northwestern University has consistently been ranked as one of the top Universities in the world. A degree received from Northwestern, is universally respected anywhere worldwide. Northwestern is a school for scholars, and with a location in the center of the United States, right outside of Chicago, it is easily able to attract students from all four corners of the country. The Northwestern community boasts of diversity in race, culture, and religions from all over the world. You will never meet anybody on campus that is exactly like you, and that is what I like about Northwestern's diversity. Meeting new and different kinds of people has always been something that I've enjoyed to do, and at Northwestern, I will have more than plenty of opportunities to do so.
As a student I believe that a school's non-academic curriculum is just as important as its academic curriculum. Northwestern offers a myriad of student organizations and clubs; the Korean American Students Association (KASA), Asian American Intervarsity Christian Fellowship (AAIV), Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and Freshmen Emerging Leaders Program (FELP) are just a few of the student organization groups that interest me. These student groups allow me to pursue my academic interest in student leadership, along with my desire to continue my Christian commitment. With my current experiences with these interests, I hope to take full advantage of these student groups that Northwestern offers, not only to meet new and different people and get a taste of the diversity that Northwestern presents, but to compliment my academic background as well.
Northwestern also has one of the highest rated academic programs in the nation. Not just in the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences, but in all divisions of academic programs offered at Northwestern. I am applying to the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences. This college is a very unique and special institution that offers many different programs and teaching methods that interest me. There are plenty of distinctive qualities that the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences has, but I think that the two most outstanding qualities that it offers are, its research and study opportunities combined with an excellent advisory program. The multitude of opportunities that the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences offers to students is remarkable. We have the opportunity to study with world renowned scholars, and work in the laboratories of prominent scientists whose works are known around the world. These fantastic opportunities give us the chance to leap ahead of all other students enrolled in different universities and colleges because of the multitude of chances that are offered here at Northwestern. I plan to benefit from this exceptional program by taking advantage of all research and study opportunities available, and using these experiences to surpass my peers, and further prepare myself toward my future in medical school.
The Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences is also renowned for their extraordinary advising system. There are multiple administrators that are assigned each and every student, and they truly make an effort to get to know each of them and are able to interpret the each student's varying strengths and weaknesses. This superb system of advising is in a class among itself. Each student is assigned more than one advisor. This means that while attending Northwestern, I am going to have more than one advisor that knows my individual strengths and weaknesses. With multiple advisors that know my strengths, I will be able to take the path that uses my strengths to my advantage while doing coursework. This unique opportunity will give me the chance to get the most out of my Northwestern experience, and further prepare me toward my future in a medical profession.
Overall Northwestern University is a top rated school. It has everything that a determined student wants and needs. It provides excellent research and academic opportunities for students and compliments it with an excellent student community. I am certain that Northwestern University provides everything that a thriving student like me needs, and if admitted, I plan on taking full advantage of every academic and non-academic opportunity that comes my way.
That second sentence needs no comma. Actually, the second sentence is unnecessary altogether, because it says the same thing as the first sentence. Use your sentences economically to pack the essay as full of meaning as possible.
Oh... it is a school for scholars, it is located in IL, it has diversity -- you say lots of different things in that first paragraph. Choose a main idea for the essa and make that the main idea of the first paragraph. THEN, choose some sub-ideas, and make them the main ideas of the body paragraphs. Give the essay some structure... some direction. I think the whole first paragraph is weak... sorry!! It is full of statements of the obvious, and it is scattered.
You have excellent topic sentences already! Great job. Now, can you rewrite the intro so that it tells the reader that you are going to talk about non-academic curriculum, top-rated academics, and the advising system? That would make for a good intro.
The other thing that would make this better would be to write a lot about your SPECIFIC interests -- the resources you will use, the professors you cannot wait to meet. Show them how clearly you envision your future.
