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Both in and out of school, I am well active; NCSSM-extracurricular/community service


indian523 1 / -  
Oct 22, 2009   #1
I am applying to NCSSM (North Carolina School of Science and Math) and need some feedback on completing the essay part of the application.

Promt: Extracurricular, Community Service and Volunteer Activities (both in-school and out-of-school)

My essay:

Both in and out of school, I am well active, whether it be helping out my community or participating in club relating events.
My high school, has given me the opportunity to contribute to my neighborhood through the process of joining clubs. I believe that community service and volunteerism are very important. A person's free time is best donated is this way. I believe that every individual's responsibility is to help others in their community and eventually beyond. By following my thought, I joined a service club eventually earning over ten hours last year as a freshman and over five hours in the first term of my sophomore year. Apart from volunteerism activities regarding school, I am a part of an organization in my temple called Om Squad. Om Squad also provides service opportunities that I took advantage of to gain hours. Helping out the community not only makes everyone who is benefiting from my volunteering happy, but I also feel pleased for giving back to the community in a selfless manner.

In addition to being involved in community service projects, I am a member of my school's Beta Club, Speech and Debate club, Deca club, Math Team, Hindu Yuva, and Cross Country. Beta club has made me highly involved within my community. Speech and debate club is one that I admire. It has assisted me in debating and thinking of on-the-spot speeches to deliver with only two minutes of preparation time. My addition in math team has assisted me in completing difficult mathematical problems in competitions which help in my current math courses. My enrollment in cross country has benefited me in making friends whom who are older than me and others who are younger and look up to me for advice. Whenever I am in stress after school for the load of homework being assigned, I am always thankful that cross country can relieve my amount of stress by making me run with others in a group.

Please feel free to criticize it in any way cause I really want to get in.
mcdy143 5 / 17  
Oct 23, 2009   #2
Quite impressive experiences.

However I think you should focus more on the process of the activity and put more efforts to specific details on how the experices shaped you as a person.

Just my opinion.


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