Hi, I've never really done an essay like this before, so any feedback would be MUCH appriciated. The essay is due soon, so anyone that is willing to help, please do so soon. Thank you very much! Here is the prompt:
Scientific exploration clearly excites you (otherwise you wouldn't be applying to Caltech). What is it about Caltech's opportunities and resources that will best fuel your intellectual curiosity and develop your passion for science, technology, math or engineering?
Quite a few people repeatedly ponder the meaning of life, but often struggle to find an answer. While most can assure you that it is not forty-two, few can provide a reasonable answer. Growing up, I have sometimes found myself debating the same question. No matter how hard I thought about it, I could never really put my finger on what life truly meant. After a while, however, I took a step back and realized that perhaps I have been asking myself the wrong question. We only have one life to live, one shot to experience the world, so perhaps the question we should be asking ourselves should not be "What is the purpose of my life?" but rather "What can I do with my life?". Shortly after having this epiphany, I discovered the answer to my question. I want to leave behind something that will make this world a better place for future generations to come. Whether that means developing more environmentally friendly engines for cars and planes, finding a cure for cancer, or discovering a new way to harness cleaner energy, I want to leave behind a legacy. To achieve this goal, I believe I need to dive deeper into the scientific exploration that has already been so interesting to me. My father is a physicist who works in the fields of optics, photonics, and biophysics, and, naturally, I followed in his footsteps and became a science enthusiast. While other little kids were watching SpongeBob or Hannah Montana, I was busy learning about the mysteries of black holes on the science channel. When I reached high school, I realized at once that science was going to be the most interesting subject I would take during my four years there. Now that I am a senior, I am ready to further develop my passion, specifically for physics. Thus, I believe that attending the California Institute of Technology is a crucial step towards achieving my goals. I know that CalTech has many incredible professors that will aid me on my journey, as well as numerous other students just like me working together to also leave their mark on the world. I know that I will be able to participate in research programs and other projects that will only move me forward. Most importantly, however, I believe that CalTech will ultimately aid me in my quest to leave this world in a better place than it was when I got here.
Quite a few people repeatedly ponder the meaning of life
Quite a few people ponder the meaning of life (or have pondered)
"What can I do with my life?".
with my life?"
I think you really need to specify some difference between "what's the purpose of life" and "what can I do with my life?" Essentially, you could say that the purpose of life is to make the world a better place and what you can do with your life is make the world a better place. I don't really see a difference in the two ideas. If you really want to push this fact, I think you should spend some time developing a clear separation between the two
Since the prompt says "What is it about Caltech's opportunities and resources that will best fuel your intellectual curiosity and develop your passion for science, technology, math or engineering?" it might be a good idea to include some specific courses or programs or research opportunities etc. somewhere
They want to know what in the curriculum or the college specifically you think will help you achieve your goal. what do you think CalTech can do for you better than other schools could
It's very good, but you might want to consider the fact that you don't mention anything specific to Caltech anywhere in the essay. They want specifics, how specific I do not know. I'm working on the same essay; it's tough. I'll let you know if I find anything else worth noting. Good luck!
