Topic of my choice... not finished yet
A Scotch-Brite Life
I am, for all intents and purposes, a sponge. Not the permeable marine invertebrate nor the deliciously elastic and open-textured cake, but the common household utensil, porous and absorbent, synthetic and bare. Foamed plastic polymers intertwine my very being. Cellulose wood fibers circulate my veins. Unwrap me from plastic and, vacant, I am ready to perform. But do not be mislead; I am rather content with a sponge's existence, for the sponge is a highly underrated material, too often berated by implications of tedium and the mundane when weighed against more exhilarating cleaning equipment. However, the reality is quite the contrary. In a world of mighty cleansing dissolvents and rigid wire brushes, the sponge is unique: whereas the others destroy, a sponge absorbs and absorption is a fascinating thing.
Inspect closely the operation of this household device, the sponge: sopping up any variety of messy, staining adulterants, sponges digest heaps of what is placed before them but never regurgitate quite the same output. Rather, exuding from their porous surface is an innovative concoction of inputs altered from their original forms - a new mixture not identical to what they had consumed, but identifiable, nonetheless. Like my permeable companions, I operate in a similar fashion. While some may be content with life explicit, I revel in application: Nothing learned departs from my train of thought in quite the same manner it arrived. My mind is in constant motion, sopping up information and then making connections and extensions, never satisfied with the quintessential "What?" Rather, I prefer "Why?" "How?" "What if?" and "How does this apply?" An observer would find my notebooks rich with annotation - mind maps splashed in speculation and dripping interrogative scribbles - sprawled across white expanses of paper, each a footnote reminder of questions eager to be posed. And, more often than not, they are. Indeed, dispersed amid teacher instructions on English and Chemistry are my own queries of how the lost generation era might have influenced subject matter in The Great Gatsby or why the chemical composition of sea coral allows it to be used in human bone grafts. While fellow students might consider this curiosity senseless, perhaps even a "class distraction" from the tedious routine of lecture, I believe it to be the mark of an original thinker. The intersecting pores and canals that comprise my own mental procedure allow information to flow, mix, and mingle with other streams of consciousness before being wrung out of thought and into use, allowing ordinarily bland class work to be made fresh and exotic. By jotting down ties between, for instance, yesterday's calculus lesson and the vectorial nature of velocity learned in physics, I have created a unique and effective manner of studying, becoming a more active learner in the process. Occasionally, the precise act of composing associations between classes sparks an epiphany in my studies, allowing me to grasp previously misunderstood concepts. At other times, my inquisition sparks debate among classrooms, permitting an entire group of students to experience a glimpse of sponge-like curiosity. In either case, what began as an indissoluble connection between myself and a particularly tattered copy of The Way Things Work has blossomed into my existing personality, each arbitrary question and unnecessary inquisition a minute pore or fleshy piece of absorbent material that, when pieced together, produce a representation of my being. Quite simply, I am a sponge: I seek to absorb, grasp the foundation of what I learn, and then construct my own presumptions upon it. Some may deem us mundane, the epitome of routine domestic cleanup, but I consider our existence unique, for amid a society of harsh chemical and physical cleaning equipment, only a select few can truly lead a sponge's existence and find meaning in a Scotch-Brite life. I am glad to be one of them.
I think this is a great idea for an essay. Your descriptions are vivid, and bring the idea of simple house sponge into great activity and detail. Some awkward phrasing issues:
"While some may be content with life explicit" - What does this mean? I would reword this clause.
"Nothing learned imparts from my train of thought" - I haven't heard 'impart' used in this context. 'Impart' means to bestow or communicate an idea or trait, but I think you're applying it differently.
In terms of content, I think this essay has potential. The problem I see is that there is a lot of description of what a sponge does, but not much elaboration of why this pertains to your character. I think this essay could be better structured, by first listing an aspect of the sponge, then showing how it connects to you. Then the second detail, and so on. The way it's currently structured, I'm very interested in the sponge, but not as interested in you. I would try adding examples from your life that illustrate why you are like a sponge. Overall though, I would continue on this train of thought. Good luck.
Sorry, meant to put depart. This is only the beginning and i have yet to write the half that pertains to my own life. Thanks for the advice!
I think this essay is fantastic! I wish I could write like you. You took a mundane household object and applied it to yourself in the most effortless manner, still managing to sound highly intelligent. It is this sort of uniqueness that colleges are looking for, and I think you have a great chance of being accepted into Cornell. What is it that you need help with?
I can't wait to read it when it is finished!
Hello,
One of the BIGGEST mistakes college applicants make is trying too hard. I will explain more later.
I have graded your essay and it received a score of 66/100. Your idea for this essay is wonderful. I enjoyed the the glimpse, you provided, into the life of a common kitchen sponge. However, you try hard to use "grandiose" words. This would be fine except, several times in your essay, your usage of these words was in the wrong context. Your essay should read smoothly, be entertaining, and showcase something about you. This essay is entertaining, and while it shows that you know some big words, it also shows that you cannot use them correctly or are you able to write a essay that reads smoothly. The place for you to show off your high powered vocabulary is in the SAT or ACT exam. Unless your verbal scores are sky high on those exams, a essay such as this would likely lead to your rejection. Remember you want to shine in your essays, but you want to shine for the right reasons. This essay only needs a few minor changes. Changes that I would be able to help you with. The errors encountered in your essay, aside from word usage, are:
Spelling (1)
Commonly confused words
Grammar 6 issues
Confusing modifiers (1)
Sentence structure (3)
Wordiness (1)
Passive voice use (1)
Use of articles
Show all
Punctuation 4 issues
Punctuation within a sentence (4)
Closing punctuation
Formal punctuation
Capitalization
Style and Word Choice 3 issues
Writing style (2)
Vocabulary use (1)
Dwayne,
I would like to contact you for input and i visited the website you provided, but i am still not quite sure how to specifically reach you. I would appreciate any help you might offer though
Hello,
All orders and posts will route to me as I am the first and last reader.
Thanks,
Dwayne
I fixed, rearranged, and added to the essay... hopefully this is better
I really need some help before sending out common app
I am, for all intents and purposes, a sponge. ----ha ha, I like it, but is the cliche necessary? How about this:
I am for all intents and purposes, a sponge -- not the permeable marine invertebrate, nor the deliciously elastic and open-textured cake, but the common household utensil, porous and absorbent, synthetic and bare. ----great job.
past tense is "misled." But do not be mislead misled; I am rather content with a sponge's existence, for the ...
If you start singular, keep it singular:
Inspect closely the operation of this household device, (This is singular) the sponge: sopping up any variety of messy, staining adulterants, the sponge digests heaps of what is placed before them it but never regurgitating quite the same...
I seriously am laughing aloud all the way through this. I can't see how anyone could possibly not be impressed. -----> Like my permeable companions, I operate in---->the epitome of routine domestic cleanup, ... I really appreciated this stuff.
Well my only important advice for you is to use paragraphs ... um... am I just unable to see them because of the way the essay appears here, or did you write a super long paragraph? Divide that into sections!! Great job...
