What sculpture is to a block of marble, Education is to a human soul

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

What sculpture is to a block of marble, Education is to a human soul.
-Joseph Addison

The above phrase has always been the key point behind my learning. It has helped me frame my targets and reach the goals of my career so far. The past century has thrown open the doors for unabated technological advancement and has created opportunities of growth in newer dimensions which we never thought existed even a short time ago. To excel in the beautiful workplace of tomorrow, one will need to possess a perfect blend of theoretical study and practical experience. I want to be a part of this exiting race to create a more scientifically advanced tomorrow and I envision graduate studies as a path towards my advancement in this direction.

I have been dedicated towards my studies right from childhood. I have been blessed to have parents who have instilled me with good values and principles. They have supported me in accomplishing the goals I have set forth. With this mindset I gathered knowledge to succeed in my studies and to be one of the best in my class. During my school days I developed a special flair towards biology and it is that interest that has persuaded me to take Biology as one of the majors in my 12th grade and Biotechnology as the major in my under graduation.

My schooling and college education played a pivotal role in shaping my future. I had excellent facilities and faculty, which laid emphasis on fundamentals. I was good in my academics by being in top 5% of the school by scoring 85% in my 10th grade and 85% in my 12th grade. I have always been a consistent learner and performer. Especially my grade being above 90% in Physics, Biology and Chemistry opened up the doors for me to secure admission in the program, Bachelor of Engineering in Biotechnology at BMS College of Engineering.

During my undergraduate I have acquired immense knowledge in the subjects like Molecular Biology, Cell Biology, Biochemistry, Microbiology, Immunology, Bioinformatics, Genetic Engineering and Pharmaceutical biotechnology, Bioprocess Principles and Engineering, Bio and Chemical Thermodynamics and Enzyme Engineering which are essential for this field. I also took up subjects like Metabolic Engineering and Biosensors and Bioinstrumentation as my electives which further strengthened my perseverance in the field of Biotechnology. I will remain indebted to my professors who have fostered in me a flair and flamboyance for higher education and currently an achievement of a GPA of 8.76 out of 10.

I volunteered to take part in Seminars and Symposia in College on different topic such as "Exposure of pesticides and its effect on childhood cancer", " Quality systems in Pharmaceutical Industry" and " The telomere shortening theory of aging", where I could bring out my presentation and oratorical skills in my reports and speech. Not only did I concentrate on the academic front, I also built on my creative side from time to time and my 2nd place in making of a "Biovehicle" in a inter-college event is the best example I provide to prove it. I have undergone extensive training at Azyme Biosciences Pvt. Ltd during my summer vacation on "Molecular and Recombinant DNA Technology" and have also attended a two day workshop in Probiosys on "How to write a Research Paper". Apart from technical skills, I have always been an active student and organizer and I have successfully coordinated an event in Vivox, the departmental fest held in the institution. Currently, I am working on a project for my final semester on "Soil functionality studies on Endosulfan Degrading bacteria."

All the knowledge I have gained till today has only instilled an insatiable thirst towards academic excellence and earning a Master's in Biotechnology. A Graduate education that would enable me to pursue advanced degree is what I have aspired for. I also believe that good graduate program is an essential step for realizing my long-term goals. The excellent faculty and good research facilities at your university hold a great promise and I earnestly desire to benefit both academically and professionally in the chosen fields of my interest. I strongly feel that your University is the right place to embark on an academic journey into the depths of Biotechnology. I am confident of contributing my mite to the development and research in the concerned department. Naturally being a hard working and committed student, I am certain that I will be able to cope with the rigors of an International curriculum with ease. My determination to succeed and do well will enable me to be among the better students of your college. I would therefore be grateful if I am offered an admission in to MS program with possible financial support.

United States will offer me a very healthy atmosphere for research and development. I am eagerly awaiting for an admission from your esteemed university for my future endeavor in this field. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Hi :) Here are just some ideas I think will improve your essay
I don't see any grammatical errors in this, so that's pretty good.
I'm not exactly sure what this essay if for, but if your transcript is attatched to this,it seems a little braggy. For example, you constantly mention your grades and things you have participated in to your accomplishment. As amazing as these things are, they should come out subtly, not down right literal as you did.

At the end you should put in an overall moral to all of this. Also, make some parts a little bit more universal. Everything here you wrote only applies to you, while the person you wrote the quote was addressing everyone. I know it may seem a little hard to do, but by doing so your essay will sound less self-centered and it humanized the essay a little more.

What I like about your essay is that you use the perfect combination of simple sentences and complex/conjugate sentences to make this very readable.


Remove that part, because it sounds a little awkward in there. Don't worry, if you need financial assistance you'll get it.

In general, you essay seems like it would appeal to someone who is in the science community; however, your reader may not. You have to include aspects that everyone can relate to. You essay does not include something that will appeal to a readers aesthetic senses (think 5 senses). I'm not too sure what your essay is for, but if it is a general univerisity/college admission essay, follow my advice.

Good luck with your future pursuits! I wish you the best.