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"Sedentary Lifestyles" A&M (issue of importance)

sebad 1 / 1  
Jun 22, 2011   #1
The prompt for this essay is: Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation

Everyone wants to carry a healthy life, with a decent diet, and a proper body mass index. However many people decide not to work out or get involved in any type of physical activity. Many think that just by eating a low-calorie diet and walking a befitting amount of miles each day is all they need. Consequently, an abundant number of citizens around the world and especially in United States are suffering from, obesity and other health related problems due to their sedentary lifestyles.

This issue influences me in every branch of my life. At school, in order to prevent sedentary lifestyles, Katyisd requires us to take at least one year of a certain physical education class in order to graduate. Additionally we have a fitness day once a year in which we take part of several endurance tests to make sure we are fit and not out of shape.

In the same way my family also sustains a very healthy lifestyle; we are knowledgeable of the risks that a sedentary lifestyle can bring you so we make an effort to eat right and exercise regularly. We carry out a fairly good diet, eating out only once per week and including fruits and vegetables in almost every meal. Besides we all do some type of physical activity daily. Both of my parents ride bicycle for an hour each morning and my sister and I play some type of sport whether it is basketball, tennis, soccer, or go to the gym.

It is easy to observe that our community has also changed attempting to encourage people to abandon their sedentary lifestyles. There are multiple gym facilities around were you can go work out or exercise at any time. Furthermore, each neighborhood has several parks, with pools and open green areas animating people to leave their houses and enjoy the outdoors.

In final analysis, no one has an excuse for having a sedentary lifestyle. For the majority of the time, people do not want accept that it is because of themselves that they are obese or unhealthy. Some blame it on their genetics or even the fact that they never learned the proper way to exercise out or eat healthy. But the truth is that everyone has at least thirty minutes a day to go for a run, everyone can improve their diet by going out less for dinner, and you can even look for information on the internet of how to work out correctly. Therefore all people need is desire to change their sedentary lifestyles, a determined mind set, and never give up in order to accomplish a healthy life.

amrosca 4 / 130  
Jun 22, 2011   #2
Hei Sebastian!

First of all: your English is awesome and I stand by your side when you say that everyone has the time to work out.
However, your essay is pretty cold. Everyone knows that sedentarism is bad and ads on TV and on the Internet remind us of that every day. You say a lot about how sport can be implemented in our day-to-day life, but what is the result of this besides the obvious health benefits? How does working out help you mentally and socially? I think relating this subject to the way humans think or the way they react in a society would be interesting and your opinion will be more likely to stand out.
OP sebad 1 / 1  
Jun 22, 2011   #3
Thanks allot, it really helped. I'll change it
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jun 25, 2011   #4
Great ideas, here. Lately I have been doing an exercise I made up called Crazy Hops (maybe I'll make a video).

It's okay to drop the OF:
Both of my parents ride bicycle for an hour each morning, and my sister and I play some type of sport whether it is basketball, tennis, or soccer, and we sometimes go to the gym.---I made a few other changes, too.

Strunk & White say, "Separate the 2 halves of a compound sentence with a comma!


This is some great writing!! I think the essay is a little too obvious, though. Dig deeper... What is the most useful advice you might give someone.. advice that might change their life? Share something specific.

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