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I will always seek the goodness around me - UF Essay


bitofvanilla91 1 / -  
Oct 30, 2008   #1
What do I need to fix? What can I improve on?
After reading the other UF essays, I don't know if mine is adequate...

Prompt:
Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.

Fried red onions. Leafy greens. Squid, white and spotted with purple. These are the foods not on the menu in this restaurant that is my real home, the foods I sit eating as I read. There are no customers here. Through the windows I watch a car pass by, then a couple strolls from their car and are almost at the door when they turn away without a merciful glance as they head for the grocery store next door instead. My mom lies curled on a booth seat in the corner as she takes a fitful nap. My father is outside the back door, smoking-calm, before the yelling will begin. I wipe sweat from my forehead and pull my hair up in a ponytail-the air conditioning is off, and the fan does little.

The air inside my family's restaurant is palpable with regret and worries. There is no hope, just as there is no cake this year. For today. I am seventeen.

I am busy with school, with work, with life, and I do not like to return home, to this pervasive unhappiness and guilt. I am home today because I am not busy today.

I cannot concentrate on the book I am looking at any longer. I must leave, and so I do: I push open that door, walk towards my car, and drive. I have no destination I mind, but only seek to forget what is ever-present.

I feel my worries ebb away, as I accelerate and move with the flow of traffic. I drive across the town bridge, as wind blows gently through my open windows, and I see the sky shyly brilliant with an array of soft colors as the sun sets, and the lights on the bridge line the way. There is a man on the side fishing. I look out at the waters, and hear the music on the radio, beginning loudly and chaotically, then transitioning into a calm sweetness. I see people going to places they need to be, toward what's important to them, or merely strolling along.

A smile tugs at my mouth, and soon I am grinning at the simple loveliness of it all.

I realize how insignificant my worries are compared to the splendor surrounding me. I realize it is easy to look at the world askew, fretting about imperfections and small matters, and to live firmly in a wholly realistic world, but to do so is to deliberately seek unhappiness. It is better to cast aside hurts, but not hide from them, through always seeking beauty, hope, and the goodness in every situation, or what surrounds around me.

Although there may be setbacks along the way to my dreams, I will always seek the goodness around me and strive to create more through working my hardest. I would love to give my all at the University of Florida.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 30, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

While this is a very well crafted introspective piece, I'm not sure it answers the prompt. What is the meaningful event or experience? This prompt wants a specific time in your life that has happened to you and how it will effect both you while at college and the college campus you attend. A little more focus is really all you need for an appropriate response.

Best of luck.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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