Hi, I am aplying to VCU and I was hoping for some feedback or suggestions on how to improve on this essay. There is a 250 word limit and the prompt is:
As you start your college career, what is your primary goal as a student and how have you prepared to meet this goal, how do you plan to succeed, how do you feel you will do at VCU?
Growing up, I've learned to believe that hard work and proper education helps you accomplish so much in life. I plan to utilize that work and education to achieve my primary goal: earn a college degree and develop the many skills that I need for the future. I have already started to prepare for this journey to my grand goal of knowledge. Earning college credits through AP courses is an aspect preparation. Taking courses at the Northern Virginia Community College while in high school is another. I have no expectation of my preparation to get me ahead of college, rather I only seek to be ready and primed for the next big chapter of my life. Virginia Commonwealth University is a doorway to said chapter of my life, opening me to opportunities beyond high school and community college. These opportunities are just one of the many facets of my plan to succeed in achieving my goal and VCU. I plan to take all required classes to earn a mechanical engineering degree, apply to several internships and work-studies involved in my major, partake in community service to develop skills outside my major, seek out to possess a bachelors and masters degree. I feel fully confident of what I can accomplish at VCU along with my primary goal as a student. I have the preparation, plan, and belief in myself to excel at college, become a graduate, and hold the many abilities to assist me in my future.
I'm applying to VCU and had to respond to this prompt as well and I think you did really well. You addressed all the questions the prompt asked in a clear and concise manner with easy to understand language. The only thing I might suggest is to elaborate on your primary goal. You say you want to earn a college degree and develop the many skills that you need for the future. What skills do you think you will need, what do you have planned for your future? Later in your essay you do address this sorta by stating you want to get a mechanical engineering degree. I think THAT is your primary goal, because it's what you see in your future, and that should go towards the beginning than rather the end. I hope that makes sense but in the end it is your essay and you should just go with what sounds right to you. Other than that, this was well written and I hope you get accepted!
