"What you seek is seeking you" FIT Fashion Design program admission essay

Fashion Design application

I am applying to the FIT Fashion Design program and this is my admissions essay. Any feedback would be appreciated, thank you :)

The Persian poet Jalāl al-Dīn Rumi said, "What you seek is seeking you." This quote reflects a defining moment in my life when I decided that I would follow my dreams of becoming a fashion designer. With an intellectual, creative mind and industry experience, I am an outstanding candidate for the Fashion Design program at the Fashion Institute of Technology.

My journey towards design became much more intense when I was in my second year at the University of Windsor, from which I earned a Bachelor's Degree with Honours in Photography and Filmmaking. At the beginning of my degree, my father was guiding me to become a lawyer. I took some criminology courses and realized that the logical nature of the material was bland. I was unimpressed. I switched my major to photography and my creative journey began. As I worked with my digital camera and created still images, I felt like I could finally express my creativity through form, however, photography felt too particular. I continued my research. During my free time, I would go to the library and read books on designers like Martin Margiela (the Antwerp Six), Issey Miyake, Pheobe Philo, Haider Ackermann, and others. I was fascinated by the draping techniques, and the way textiles could be formed and manipulated to create certain feelings and emotions.

Through these explorations, I began learning about the technical side of patternmaking, sewing, and constructing garments. It was then that I began drafting my own patterns and learned how to sew after receiving a sewing machine for Christmas. Shortly after, I decided to attend St. Clair College for the Fashion Design Technician program. Since then, I have been significantly involved in fashion. I have completed four (4) fashion shows at art galleries across my city, which featured 5-6 outfits each. My knowledge of the fashion industry has become more informed and insightful through these projects. Coordinating models, outfits, photographers, and attendees have all been part of my learning process.

As a young visionary and dreamer, I am aiming for the stars. To me, fashion design begins with technical knowledge and is expanded outwards to creation and to the physical element of a finished garment. That is why I am driven to attend FIT as a Fashion Design student - to multiply my skillset and expand my credentials in the city of fashion itself, New York. As a young woman born in North Carolina, my family would travel around different states in the U.S. We lived in Texas, California, Chicago, and ultimately moved to Canada in 2008. Now as an adult woman, I am determined to move back to the States and experience city life with goals and an objective - to become one of the world's best fashion designers.

In conclusion, I am a young entrepreneur with a passion for learning and growth. I believe fashion design allows authentic self-expression and a unique aesthetic that I strive for as a cultured woman. This refined sense of style and aesthetic that I aim to create will be cherished by people of all ages, regardless of their backgrounds. I aim to create an inclusive, gender neutral, fashion brand that everyone can be a part of.

The writer has the essay presented in reverse. If the presentation started with the personal belief, it would show a clear and personal reason why the applicant would make a good student at FIT. Starting with a clear objective then ending with Persian poet quote would have created a more informative and marked essay presentation for the reviewer. Remember that this is the chance given to the applicant that will allow him to discuss both his personal development and the foundation of her fashion interest. I found that reading this essay from the end going to the beginning gave me a clearer perspective of who the applicant is and what she is all about. I would like the admissions committee members to have that same interesting reading experience with this essay.